Monday, March 19, 2007

The End is Near!

Repent while you still can, for the end is upon us!

For days now, avies across Theria have been noticing some extremely disturbing signs that the end is finally approaching. Avmans have been crashing left and right leaving avatars stranded without bodies and inventories, hoverboats are falling out of the sky, the water table across the planet is rising, and numerous avies have experienced an unwelcome change in gender! Yeah, you read that right!

System messages have been broadcasted by the staff in attempts to alleviate our fears, however the vague and uncertain undertones in those messages belie the fact that even the staff are completely clueless:

Good Evening, we are experiencing and aware of some technical anomalies. We are working to solve the issues. Go to www.info.there.com for more information!


Technical anomalies, they say? This is one heck of an anomaly! Leading Therian scientists have studied the recent phenomena in detail and have uncovered unsettling correlations between current events and those previously reported when a quantum singularity passed in close proximity to the planet. To read about these prior incidents, look here, here, here, here, here, and here.

After much deliberation and several sandwiches thrown across the room, scientists have ascertained that these recent anomalies are not due to one large quantum singularity, but rather are due to countless microsingularities bombarding the planet. Using the latest scientific research and the most expensive sensory equipment currently available, our scientists have triangulated the source of these deadly microsingularities: They originate from a neighboring system called simply "MTV". This system is known to contain one inhabited planet which they call "VLB". Our scientists' absurd love of three-letter abbreviations notwithstanding, these microsingularities pose the most serious risk to There that has been seen since Black Friday!

Reports are flooding in from all sources verifying the microsingularities' deadly nature. When one comes in contact with an avatar, the results are startling to say the least! Orielle and missv were among those afflicted. Both were female avatars prior to their collision with a microsingularity. Images courtesy of Orielle. Click to enlarge:



To read more about these recent gender changes, look at the forum thread here. The staff seem completely confuzzled by the issue, as is reflected in Helper_Hecate's post:
This issue does not seem to be a system wide issue, but something is definitely glitching.

For anyone who has been affected by this issue (I have 7 names down so far) please send email to help@there.com with "ATTN: Hecate" in the subject line. In the email, include the following information:

1) Was there a teleport involved, ie did you notice this occur when you teleported somewhere? if so
a) Where were you teleporting FROM to the best of your knowledge
b) Where were you teleporting TO to the best of your knowledge
(For both of these, be as precise as possible, including landmarks)
2) If a teleport was not involved, what do you remember seeing happen, under what circumstances did you see your avatar change?

This specifically applies to those whose gender changed from female to male (or from male to female, although I do not know of anyone affected yet in that way). if your skin tone changed but you stayed the same gender, you should be able to use the spa to reset it without difficulty.


ThereCare also reflects similar confusion:
Some Avatars Experiencing "gender bending" 3/17


Due to causes which we are still determining, some avatars may have been reset to the "default pattern", which is a clotheless male avatar. Avatars who were already male to begin with may simply use the spa and Change Me to recover their settings.

Female avatars affected by this problem will revert to male pattern - we are working on a solution, but at the present time we do not believe we have a complete list of all avatars affected.

If you have been affected by this issue, and your female avatar has reverted to default male, and you have not already emailed help@there.com, we ask that you do so to let us know your avatar name as soon as possible.

-There Customer Support


Another issue that has arisen as a direct result of the microsingularities is being investigated by BluegrassTIGGS. It seems the water table across the planet has risen by almost a meter in some locations! Read more about this here.

Leading Therian scientists also believe that collisions with microsingularities are responsible for the breakages being noticed in some terrain servers. In particular, the Borakai neighborhood on Caldera Island has been severely affected. Reports indicate that trees and houses have completely vanished, leaving nothing but a default texture behind!




The extremely expensive sensory equipment being utilized by the scientists has failed to gather any readings from this area, although the casual observer can quickly point out that the breakages seem to be concentrated in an area just outside of EmmaJean's house--Curious. Investigators are currently engaged in negotiations to obtain a search warrant for Emma's house in order to determine just exactly what goes on under that roof. Read more on this here.

What is to be done? Answers from the staff are scarce and their reassurance is hardly reassuring. Scientists researching the anomalies suggest that we lay low until one of two things happens: Either the whole thing blows over or the whole planet blows up. Some avies have embraced their fate, celebrating with what little time they have left:


Others are spending their final moments with friends and family, reflecting on their brief but glorious existences in There. Whatever happens, rest assured that some things will never change: Newbies will continue asking for money, griefers will continue griefing, lag will continue lagging, and segmentation violations will continue segmenting and violating. We can all take some measure of reassurance from these indisputable facts.

Spread the word! We must prepare ourselves for what lies ahead!


Jon Quixote was There!

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