Friday, November 03, 2006

Sorry, we are having trouble locating your avatar...

Before I begin recounting the events that lead up to what was, perhaps, the most peculiar software maintenance cycle yet, allow me to elaborate on the unfortunate condition my mouse is currently forced to endure. You see it is, how shall I put this, defective. Yes, it's true; the mouse's left click is busted. Sometimes it doesn't click at all. Other times it double clicks. It can't seem to make up its mind! Sad, really.

So, I invited myself to one of Buff_God's little boarding events to get some track time in. There I am, headed towards this one monster of a ramp. Indeed, the tallest ramp and farthest jump on the course. I'm gearing up, I'm going for it, I'm committed, there's the ramp, there's the top of the ramp, I'm in the zone, I click my turbo aaaand...... nothing happens. After a moment or two, nothing continued to happen. It was disconcerting, really. There's no point in posting screenshots of nothing happening, sorry to disappoint. Use your imagination. A little nothing happening over there on the left, with massive clouds of nothing rolling in over those hills in the background. Paint some tiny smidgets of nothing happening in the foreground and you've just about got it.

I didn't have very long to sulk in the misery of my complete failure to even leave the ramp, however, because moments later we were informed of ongoing software maintenance. We were told, rather politely, that our connection to There may be "unstable" for approximately one hour. We were experiencing some mildly aggravating lag but, thought we, if this is the worst of it surely we can deal. Almost as if she heard us from up on her cloud in Saja, g0d sought to smite us beneath her awesome power! Soon enough we were but mere shadows of our former beings, disembodied voices floating in the chat box of a now vacant funzone. Oh the humanity.

What? You want to see it? Didn't I already tell you there's no point in posting screenshots of nothing? Fine! Okay! Here! Yeesh...Shortly thereafter, even our ability to communicate telepathically via the funzone's chat box proved a fleeting one as every last vestige of our avies was removed from existence. The event was accompanied by a message which read: "Sorry, we are having trouble locating your avatar, so the IM system is temporarily unavailable." So this is what they meant by "unstable".


Just so there is something remotely picturesque here for those of you textaphobes, here's a screenshot of me floating around inside my new and improved ion-powered semi-hued lag-repellent bubble version 2.0. It is now coated with a special compound which, upon contact with There's atmosphere and/or blue concrete, slowly releases negatively charged silver ions which have proven, in lab rats, to repel the particles in There's atmosphere that have been shown to cause lag in controlled laboratory experiments.


Jon Quixote was There!

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