Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Mad Cow disease strikes again!!

My fellow almost-Therians, today I call upon each and every one of you to help eradicate our beloved Theria of a terrible disease which has plagued us since the earliest days of our creation. I speak, of course, of the dreaded Bordemvine Spongy-tummy Encel-apathy, or Mad Cow disease. Scientists have long suspected the disease is transmitted to avatars through their operators in the Real, resulting in aberrant avatar attitudes, uncontrollable griefing urges, inexplicable weight gain, and general misbehavior and mucking about.

Just recently, high-ranking scientists in There have uncovered incontrovertible evidence linking Mad Cow disease to operators in the Real. It began as any other day with Therian engineers and astronomers working hard to fish our world out from the deep, dark depths of a particularly nasty quantum singularity which passed a little too close to our planet early last year. This event, as we all know, resulted in the long period of pitch black darkness we are currently in known as The Great Blackout. As these engineers were busy sitting on the existential docks of the universe, casting a wide net into the quantum singularity, one of them happened to notice some odd data being sent back along the net. At first, the strange data had him thoroughly confused but, thankfully, he remembered a fabulous resource to correlate information on similar events in There's past. He clicked around my blog for a while until he stumbled upon the Mad Cow disease archives. Realizing they may have an imminent outbreak, the engineers called in every scientists, astronomer, psychologist, and veterinarian with knowledge on the topic. They were up all night studying the data and drawing conclusions with jumbo multi-colored chalk on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, while they were busy doodling away, the quantum singularity they were supposed to be monitoring sucked them right up.

The conclusions they drew on the sidewalk remain, however, and they reveal some startling information. As it turns out, Mad Cow disease is in fact transmitted to avatars through their operators out in the real. How an avatar's operator becomes infected with the stupifying disease may remain a mystery, but at last we may have found a way to prevent the spread of this horrific disease. Simply ban them!!

Read a disposition given by one of There's high-ranking engineers on the data he was analyzing before being sucked into the singularity by clicking here.




Jon Quixote will be There!

8 comments:

qgon said...

Were you going to sign up again, jon?

Jon Quixote said...

'course I am! I'm probably going to wait for the actual world to go live though. Don't care much for ThereIM to be honest.

qgon said...

I see you have logged in at least once. How's life? Living the American dream? Lemme guess what your doing this weekend. You've told everyone you'll be out of town for the whole weekend and won't be answering any calls. Darkened the room, Large Multiscreen led's (6 to be exact) in the living room, Got your food stash (including your favorite, Dill Pickles licked by non other then There_Monitor herself) and your homemade horned helm ready for a 48 hour great weekend of Skyrim. Ready to venture off into the snowy mountain in your muddy hiking boots and trusty companion, Blinky. Am I close?

Jon Quixote said...

Pretty darn close! It's tough to get into There when it's not full, but I'm glad they're making progress. Hopefully they bring back all the test avies, including the oh so fine There_Monitor ;)

Elaur said...

Have you joined back up yet? Huh huh?

Jon Quixote said...

Elaur is noobs!

Yessireebob I did. The events I went to like the CCR were bunches of fun but the world was fairly empty when one of those big events wasn't happening, so I suspended my subscription for a bit after last month. I'll sign up again in a month or two though.

Elaur said...

You responded??!!??

Will you email me already! I want to update you!

Justin500 said...

I miss There.