New strain of Mad Cow disease?
Get up to date with previous cases of Mad Cow disease: click here, here, and here.
Therian scientists have identified what is possibly a new sub-strain of Mad Cow disease. If you recall, a previous strain of the disease dubbed "Bordemvine Spongy-tummy Encel-apathy" caused all manner of unsightly behavior and extreme weight gain in avatars. In its previously recorded attack, it had crossed the very boundaries separating online virtual worlds! Although this most recent outbreak remains, for the moment, confined to There, physicians are deeply concerned over the disease's incredible adaptive abilities and resilience to all known treatments. Leading Therian Physician, Doctor I. C. Shivers notes: "The disease is adapting faster than we can devise new treatments. This behavior has the best scientists in There baffled and extremely worried." Symptoms of the disease include irrational, unprovoked outbursts with the intent of annoyance, weight gain, and possibly a hatred for this very world we live in! The disease continues to target younger avies, though scientists are worried about it adapting further to affect all avatars indiscriminately.
With this new sub-strain of the disease, younger avatars are overcome with a condition known as UHSS: Uncontrollable Hyperactive Salesmen Syndrome. Witnesses have reported three avatars in the Duda Bay area selling off their entire inventories to passing travelers! Upon visiting this area to investigate, dihtri and myself were immediately overtaken by those three poor souls, who promptly began with their latest sales pitch. 911, the first avatar who approached us, began by asking if we wanted to buy a PAZ containing a skyscraper for only 7,000 therebucks. As a bonus, he offered to throw in a free mansion! Dihtri and I were overcome with awe at this impressive deal!
Jon_Quixote: only 7k!! WOW!!!
Dihtri: :O
Dihtri: rofl
Dihtri: why only 7k?
Jon_Quixote: Holy cow can it possibly get any better?!?!
He was soon followed by two other avatars, Cole1231 and Tusaki, at which point he informed us that it CAN, in fact, get better! He offered to sell us the PAZ for only 11,000 therebucks!!
Jon_Quixote: WHAT a deal!??!
Dihtri: Does it Slice and Dice?
Jon_Quixote: Is it self-sharpening?
Dihtri: does it cut pennies in one single blow?
Dihtri and I were so overwhelmed with the amazingness of this deal that we almost bought three of them! We couldn't believe our ears! Just before we succumbed, however, we had a brief moment of clarity when we realized something was gravely wrong with this situation. We surmised that the disease must be able to excrete a specific hormone which induces the buyer's urge in anyone who is exposed to it! I had to take action quickly and there was only one thing I could think to do to contain the situation!
The afflicted avatars were taken to a nearby facility where they underwent extensive testing and extremely painful examinations. Physicians confirmed our suspicions about the mind-affecting hormone and immediately began devising treatments to protect us. Inoculations will be distributed over the next seven days at El Templo Del Pollo. Nurses will also be standing by at key locations throughout There to provide further access to inoculations. Sane avatars are reminded to remain that way. Avoid any unnecessary exposure to those already infected with the disease and, as always, wear proper protective equipment. Should you or anyone you know become affected by the disease, do not induce vomiting; seek medical care immediately.
Therian scientists have identified what is possibly a new sub-strain of Mad Cow disease. If you recall, a previous strain of the disease dubbed "Bordemvine Spongy-tummy Encel-apathy" caused all manner of unsightly behavior and extreme weight gain in avatars. In its previously recorded attack, it had crossed the very boundaries separating online virtual worlds! Although this most recent outbreak remains, for the moment, confined to There, physicians are deeply concerned over the disease's incredible adaptive abilities and resilience to all known treatments. Leading Therian Physician, Doctor I. C. Shivers notes: "The disease is adapting faster than we can devise new treatments. This behavior has the best scientists in There baffled and extremely worried." Symptoms of the disease include irrational, unprovoked outbursts with the intent of annoyance, weight gain, and possibly a hatred for this very world we live in! The disease continues to target younger avies, though scientists are worried about it adapting further to affect all avatars indiscriminately.
With this new sub-strain of the disease, younger avatars are overcome with a condition known as UHSS: Uncontrollable Hyperactive Salesmen Syndrome. Witnesses have reported three avatars in the Duda Bay area selling off their entire inventories to passing travelers! Upon visiting this area to investigate, dihtri and myself were immediately overtaken by those three poor souls, who promptly began with their latest sales pitch. 911, the first avatar who approached us, began by asking if we wanted to buy a PAZ containing a skyscraper for only 7,000 therebucks. As a bonus, he offered to throw in a free mansion! Dihtri and I were overcome with awe at this impressive deal!
Jon_Quixote: only 7k!! WOW!!!
Dihtri: :O
Dihtri: rofl
Dihtri: why only 7k?
Jon_Quixote: Holy cow can it possibly get any better?!?!
He was soon followed by two other avatars, Cole1231 and Tusaki, at which point he informed us that it CAN, in fact, get better! He offered to sell us the PAZ for only 11,000 therebucks!!
Jon_Quixote: WHAT a deal!??!
Dihtri: Does it Slice and Dice?
Jon_Quixote: Is it self-sharpening?
Dihtri: does it cut pennies in one single blow?
Dihtri and I were so overwhelmed with the amazingness of this deal that we almost bought three of them! We couldn't believe our ears! Just before we succumbed, however, we had a brief moment of clarity when we realized something was gravely wrong with this situation. We surmised that the disease must be able to excrete a specific hormone which induces the buyer's urge in anyone who is exposed to it! I had to take action quickly and there was only one thing I could think to do to contain the situation!
The afflicted avatars were taken to a nearby facility where they underwent extensive testing and extremely painful examinations. Physicians confirmed our suspicions about the mind-affecting hormone and immediately began devising treatments to protect us. Inoculations will be distributed over the next seven days at El Templo Del Pollo. Nurses will also be standing by at key locations throughout There to provide further access to inoculations. Sane avatars are reminded to remain that way. Avoid any unnecessary exposure to those already infected with the disease and, as always, wear proper protective equipment. Should you or anyone you know become affected by the disease, do not induce vomiting; seek medical care immediately.
Jon Quixote was There.
2 comments:
Hilarious stuff. Thanks for making a prat out of me! 'tu
'tis what I'm best at :)
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