So, I'm out at Paiz with some friends the other day and we're helping newbies, telling jokes, and drinking some volcanos, hot blues, and atomic sours.. you know.. having a good time. When all of a sudden, for no particular reason, we take a look behind us and.. what on earth? It has two heads and four arms! It was... it was... just look!!

We stood around sipping our volcanoes and hot blues trying to think what could possibly cause this strange phenomenon. After drinking a few cups we broke out another round of drinks and passed them around. A few more rounds later, we decided it might be wise to investigate the surrounding area. This proved to be more difficult than it at first sounds. You see, whatever unworldly force created the two headed newbie was also distorting the entire space-time continuum surrounding the island! Those who were with me quickly fell behind as I forged onward, and it soon became apparent that I was alone in this endeavor. The ground shook up and down with the force of a dozen stampeding dinosaurs. The air in front of me began to wobble as if it were jello! After only minutes of pushing onward through the gelatinous material I was out of breath, extremely thirsty, and ready to give up when suddenly I saw the vague outline of a person in the distance... or was it? As I approached the figure, I saw it was wearing a very large hat. No doubt this was to add weight to his person, allowing him to stand on the unstable ground. I commented on his hat and I was greeted by a friendly red-haired fellow. He sat me down and gave me some coffee, which cleared the air right up and stopped that ground from shaking so violently. I thanked him and before another word was spoken he vanished into thin air! Just like that! I glanced over to my friends, who were rolling on the ground in agony, and rushed to bring them some of the miracle coffee. They were soon right as rain, and the poor two headed newbie was rightfully split into two full newbies. And all was well again in the land of Theria.

Jon Quixote was There.