Extra, extra! Read all about it! Uber_Geek moves to Second Life! Claims designing is more profitable! Will not be returning! Avies cry good riddance! Ubber_Geek takes over and improves Avie Sacrifices!

Majandi made a new shuttle!! I saw this yesterday in auctions and I couldn't resist. It's too perfect! This new "Delta Boat" is much smaller than the older "Hover Shuttle" design, yet still comfortably seats a pilot and four passengers within the pressurized, climate-controlled cockpit. Top speed: Warp Factor five.

Captain's log, stardate 317255.3: My second in command, Buff_God and I were out on the standard shakedown cruise all new craft undergo when we encountered a rare quantum anomaly. I experienced a similar anomaly nearly 9 months ago during my earliest adventures into space. It seems, however, it has since been drawn closer to planet Theria. At least one part of it has even intersected the planet's surface near Duda Beach. Beware if you're following the path west of Dune Valley towards Duda Beach! The anomaly does not register on standard sensor equipment and can cause devastating segmentation violations in this region of the desert!! We were carrying three other passengers at the time, MissyJean, Two, and Justin500. The shuttle ran straight into an unstable zone of the anomaly, causing immediate segmentation violations! Though our passengers objected, I took us back through several times to collect valuable data. I have since used that data to enhance the Delta Boat's shield modulations in hopes it will protect us from further segmentation violations. The physiological effects of the anomaly on avatars are still unknown. My second in command claims he was experiencing dizzy spells and visual inconsistencies, but the ship's physician finds him in perfect health.

Jon Quixote was There.

According to recent astronomical reports, planet Theria is passing dangerously close to a quantum singularity! Two days ago, astronomers began the hunt for the Deep Space 999,999 station, which had mysteriously vanished. They threw a fit when their twenty-million dollar telescopes suddenly failed to resolve anything within ten parsecs of the station's last known coordinates. The janitor, upon hearing the astronomers' complaints in the lunchroom, suggested maybe something was blocking the telescope. His suggestion was laughed at and forgotten for the next 24 hours. After a day of cursing each other, one of the astronomers finally realized they had forgotten to take the lens cap off the telescope. At this moment the silence in the observatory was deafening. Somewhere, a janitor was laughing. The astronomers once again began their hunt for Deep Space 999,999. After hours of careful observations, they came to the conclusion that the station had been sucked into the unmistakably huge black hole that was lingering in orbit above the planet. Soon after, the effects of the black hole were being felt all over There. Colors and textures appeared to disappear and lag increased ten fold as the immense quantum singularity exerted massive gravitational forces on the planet. Click the screenshot below to enlarge.Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! There was only one thing that could be done to save planet Theria from total annihilation as the enormous quantum singularity drew closer and closer, wrapping its slippery black fingers of destruction around the helpless, innocent population of There! The writer of this outrageous story had to be locked away forever!

Jon Quixote was There.

A glimpse inside the mind of a Therian dog:

"Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!"

And so the three of them decided to settle the argument like men... they mounted their dogs and prepared to race.

Jon Quixote was There.

Blinky's got a new home!! It appears Mr. Blinky was tired of the hazy scene below Saja, and decided to take a trip down to New Kansas. It must have been an extremely long and tiresome walk for Mr. Blinky, since New Kansas is nowhere near Saja! When I came across him, he was taking a well deserved break, just soaking up the sun. He'd better be careful though. As a result of spending the majority of his life protected from the sun's UV rays, Mr. Blinky has a very fair complexion. Perhaps his time on Kansas will do him some good. I left him a bottle of SPF 3,000 just in case.
Mad Cow disease strikes again! To read about previous cases of mad cow disease in There, click here. Justin summoned me to Karuna last night where I saw two girls who were complaining about how bored they were. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but a bit later I visited Paiz and saw the same two girls had gained a following. Their numbers had grown to no less than five and all of their mouths were excreting gibberish at ear bleeding decibels! After careful examination by several world-renowned physicians, it was determined that these young avatars were suffering from the same strain of "Bordemvine Spongy-tummy Encel-apathy" that had previously possessed three overweight avatars to harass newbies! These avies, however, were in the advanced stages of the disease where loss of motor control is among the more severe symptoms. Other symptoms include uncontrollable urges to disrupt nearby conversations in fits of high-pitched screaming, and the inability to stay put in one place for any extended period of time. Luckily for us, sunny1 and staff Greeter_Ice were on the scene within moments! When the afflicted avatars spotted these figures of authority, they immediately fled the scene and sought shelter near a spa. As a result of their condition, however, they soon returned to taunt us some more. Upon their return, men in white coats jumped out from behind the blue THC Kiosk and quickly took the poor avies away. One of the infected avies was seen kicking and screaming words that almost resembled a popular song by Napoleon the 14th. The video of this scene has been withheld as it may be too disturbing to some of our readers. The exact cause of these recent breakouts has yet to be determined, though persistent segmentation violations are still suspect. The disease appears to be targeting the youth of There, but no cases have yet resulted in death. Everyone is reminded to report any suspicious acting avatars promptly and seek shelter. Should you yourself become infected, seek counseling immediately. Further investigations are under way.

Jon Quixote was There.