Tuesday, March 14, 2006

We've Been Found!

And threatened with bannage! But that's getting ahead of myself.

A few weeks ago, one night I was hanging out up at Katana point when suddenly somebody tried to loan me something which carried the name "Yahoo! Hoverboard". I hesitantly accepted it and when I took it out it was, in fact, a hoverboard branded with the Yahoo logo. Later, my buddy qgon comes to me with an avatar toting a shiny new Yahoo branded T-Shirt! He claimed to have happened upon the long lost There promotion for Yahooligans! He gave me the link and I created my first YahoOo avatar. It was then that we realized the potential these avies carried with them! This was something new, something nobody else in There had. We knew there were those who would want to sell the merchandise and make a huge profit if they knew what the signup was, so we vowed not to tell another soul unless it was to prevent such exploitation of others. A small part of us may have also wanted to keep the yahoo avatars all for ourselves, but just a very small part. Very small. Almost microscopic.
qgon offhandedly remarked something about the possibility of creating a yahoo army and marching them around Theria. The idea struck me as genius and within minutes I had YahoOo2, 3, 4, and 5 logged in and standing around us. We realized that the There client refused to open a sixth window most times and even when it did, it wouldn't keep it open or stable very long. So we decided to split the load. I, having a laptop as well as a desktop, would log in as many as I could on both my computers and qgon would run his share. We created a total of thirteen YahoOoligans and promptly forgot about them for the next week. Come March 6th, we decided it was time to put these avies to the use they were created for. We loaded them all up and began a test run out in the middle of the ocean miles and miles from civilization. We set them all to cruise control and, for the most part, got them to march in single file.
When we had enough of the testing, we teleported out into Duda Bay, aimed for Karuna Plaza and let them go! It was laggy. It was VERY laggy. You think Karuna Plaza is laggy on a normal day? Try loading it six times over... simultaneously! Elaur saw the avies marching in Duda Bay while we were still getting them in a line (more or less) and snapped a screeny or two.

So we had our fun, yeah, we should do this again sometime... yup... never did. The lag was simply too much for us and so we put that aside. Until a new idea sprang up...That's me pretending I have no clue what's going on. Sorry, net. Nothing personal, you understand.

So, I had this crazy idea of logging in a bunch of yahoo_test_ avatars named after the there_test_ avies. qgon and I went about making exact replicas of the there_test_ avies. They matched in name, gender, and even skin tone. The only difference was, our avies wore the shiny Yahoo branded T-Shirt instead of the Big Eights shirt. For all you who don't know why we kept them in their undies, it's because the there_test_ avies wore nothing but the Big Eights shirt and their skivvies for the longest time. We were all excited, but realized there was a major problem with our plan: How would we get them all logged in? If our army march at Karuna was any indication, this idea was doomed. I realized that the there_test_ avies had to be logged in somehow also, and it can't possibly use a graphical client to do that. There must be some program they used to log in and out on a schedule without actually loading the virtual world. I had qgon ask his good friend, who will remain nameless, how such a thing could be accomplished. He responded telling us the general idea behind it all. Woah! I did a ton of research to figure it all out, since qgon's buddy couldn't tell us all the details, but eventually I did find a way to do it. qgon and I placed the avies in various locations around There and I hosted them on my linux server. Like magic, they began logging in and out just like the there_test_ avies!

For those of you who may be interested, here's a list of where we wound up placing all our yahoo_test_avies:

yahoo_test_1: outside El Templo Del Pollo
yahoo_test_2: top of Dune Valley invisible boarder
yahoo_test_3: outside Rainforest Plateau
yahoo_test_4: beside King Tut in Tomb
yahoo_test_6: Avie Sacrifices
yahoo_test_7: center of Karuna Plaza
yahoo_test_8: on Paiz spa
yahoo_test_9: on Maidenflight plane
yahoo_test_11: on windmill overlooking mogul mounds
yahoo_test_12: on globe at astrology island
yahoo_test_13: inside tyr tower crystal
yahoo_test_14: on Sphinx head
Yahoo_test_15: beside staff pazs
yahoo_test_16: beside Mr.Blinky
yahoo_test_17: G0D's Cloud
yahoo_test_18: front of boat in Zephyr
yahoo_test_19: on Mackie's roof peak (Katana Borakai 014)

News about the yahoo_test_ avies spread like wild fire. Within days people were speculating in There's forums about why these avies are here, and how one goes about getting their own yahooligan. At first, people thought maybe they were official avies from Yahoo. Someone eventually speculated that There was being bought out by Yahoo and they were calling dibs on all the Yahoo names. We kept quiet, of course, but all the while we knew if There wanted to find out who was behind it, they could easily do so. The rumors, meanwhile, were anything but quiet. I had a funny feeling about that thread, that something was going to happen as a result of it. I even blatantly said so to qgon just last night, in fact. We kept logging those avies in, despite my gut feeling, because people were enjoying them and, quite frankly, so were we. I got home this afternoon and checked on our minions, who were happily logging away. qgon and I conversed through e-mail about the possibility of putting our yahoo army to use once again, in addition to the yahoo_test_ avies. We thought it'd be a funny practical joke to pop them all on top of Mackie's house, and that's just what I began doing.I created more YahoOoligans, for a total of twenty plus seventeen yahoo_test_ avies. When I began to move the army of YahoOoligans over to my linux box, however, I noticed that our yahoo_test_ avies were suddenly getting "account closed" errors! Gasp! I had little time to think about it because Mackie had an event starting momentarily, so I continued setting up the army avatars on top of her house. Although it puzzled me, and I fully intended to ask why the accounts were closed since no notification or explanation was given to me, I assumed There closed them because of the relation to the there_test_ avies. In any case, I was looking forward to reading some forum posts in the morning about the pile of yahoo avatars that suddenly appeared on Mackie's house, and I took that thought and a smile with me to Paiz to help some newbies until qgon showed up.
I was introducing one particular newbie to the spas and profusely apologizing for the lack of try-it machines when Helper_Julian, who was also on Paiz, sent me an IM asking about the yahoo avatars. He explained that the speculation in the forums about the yahooligans being the prelude to a takeover of the company by Yahoo was absolutely undesirable and therefore I had to stop logging in our yahoo avies and their accounts had to be closed. Okay, so I did what anyone in my situation would do and asked if I could keep logging them in if I made public who was behind them, thereby ending said speculation. My eyes were graced with a harsh "no", it wouldn't, and was informed I was staring down the gullet of a ban. So, I shut the avies down.

To Julian: I apologize for causing you to have to visit each avie individually and delete the accounts. I'm sure that must have been an awful chore for you. No, really, I mean that.

To the company at Makena: I apologize for providing a reason for people to speculate as to the future of There. But, you have to admit; with recent events being as they are, the speculation would have made it out into the open one way or another and, in fact, already has in several other forum posts complaining about the quality of recent service. I am, however, offering a sincere apology to you here. qgon and I never intended to cause trouble, we only wished to provide a little entertainment for everybody in There in the midst of all these issues related to the latest updates.

To all the Therians who saw a yahoo_test_ avie: I apologize for not being able to provide further entertainment or a source of speculation for you! Oh well, it was fun while it lasted right?

Oh, and no, I will not be revealing the coveted yahoo sign up page :) But I have another funny feeling that won't be an issue much longer.


Jon Quixote was There.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Extreme Aerobatics

Ever wonder what it'd be like to hop into a vehicle while in freefall just like James Bond? Well, Squirrelett introduced me to this fun sport back during the There Games and tonight qgon and I went and had some fun experimenting with it. In fact, qgon improved upon the original technique.
Basically, the idea is to drop a buggy from really high up then follow it down on a freestyle board, possibly doing aerobatic stunts on the way down. You fall much quicker if you nose down with the board and, when you reach the buggy, you are hopefully close enough that you can jump in. qgon wasn't satisfied with this random pot luckness of it all and discovered that if you fall whilst on a cruiser board you can actually control where you're headed! Later on, Buff_God shrugged this off as if it were common knowledge. Well, nobody told me!!
Now, I've done this a couple times before but qgon hasn't and so it took him a few leaps to get his technique down. Until then, he was bouncing off the buggy like it was a trampoline! In the end, he figured it all out though.


Jon Quixote was There.

Make Way For Blinky!

Looks like Mr. Blinky, with the help of somebody who will remain nameless ::cough cough::q::cough::gon::cough:: is moving on up in the world! I stopped by last night to say hello and see how he was doing, only to find he's been elevated to a higher plane of existence! Literally!
He has a much better view from where he is now and I'm happy for him. Anybody who's taken the time to really get to know Blinky can tell you, he wants so much more than his existence now allows. Even just a passing glance at Mr. Blinky and you'll see such longing in his eyes. His gaze is directed outward towards the vast oceans of blue concrete and, although he can't see it, it beckons him like the song of a siren. Beyond the shores of Kansas lay an entire world waiting to be explored.
Mr. Blinky made the trip to Kansas all the way from Saja. Could it be he's preparing for another journey? I left him another bottle of SPF 10,000 just in case he is; it may be a while before I see him again should he decide to commence his travels. Justin and I tried to leave him a groovy bug a few weeks ago to assist Mr. Blinky in his journey, but the darndest thing happened quite suddenly! You wouldn't believe me even if I told you. So, I'll just have to show you instead! Click to enlarge:


Jon Quixote was There.

Friday, March 03, 2006

To The Bat-Asylum!

These things are bound to happen. Sooner or later we all lose it. For some poor souls it happens sooner. Some are lucky and don't go mad until the final days of their life. For qgon, sadly, this was not the case. He went completely bananas last night while we were taking a cruise through Duda Beach. Yep, qgon is a fruitcake.

It all started after I downloaded a new beta client which was offered to me by There in an attempt to fix some of the issues regarding the most recent update. Yes, we're still having problems with this thing. No, I'm not interested in buying your new-fangled vacuum cleaner. You see, we drove straight out into the bay on our TUVs trying to cause some tech diffy messages while all those millions upon billions of textures crammed together in such a small confined space attempted to force themselves upon our unwilling hard drives inevitably eliciting a reverberation which exacerbated the already precarious

Oops, sorry. I must have ran into something. What was I saying? Oh yeah, so qgon's degeneration to insanity began with the development of multiple personality disorder. Suddenly, and without warning, I was speaking to three separate qgons! One of the new qgons claimed to be the leader of some kind of army, the other was a prophet of peace. I tried to make a fast getaway in my hoverboat, but... well, boats don't make the best getaway vehicles. Before I even managed to take off, two of the qgons leapt into my boat and began strangling me! (What? Of course I didn't forget, let me tell the story already! Yeesh. No, I already said I don't want your dumb vacuum cleaner!!) So, there I was, all alone with the two qgons in the middle of nowhere, segmentation violations all around me! Technical Difficulties were literally knocking on the cockpit glass! What was I to do?! I decided to seek the advice of the council of elders.
They told me to beseech these two fellows for help, who promptly gave me a candy cane and sent me on my merry way.

So there I was again, all alone. Except for the two qgons that were strangling me from the back seat of my space shuttle. Yeah you heard me, space shuttle. And it's a pretty sleek looking craft if I do say so myself. But I didn't have time to think about any of that! I was being strangled! Only a madman would strangle a totally sane person such as myself in his own space shuttle. I can prove he's gone loony! Look here! This is my proof. Note how one of the qgons remained off the shore of the beach in the water where he was safe and used unholy magic to transmit his text bubbles onto my shuttle, miles away! Look I say! Click to enlarge if you must!

As further proof of qgon's insanity, I present to you the following. This is what I saw:As you can see, this is a completely rational image. I was in my space shuttle flying over the beach, and there were the two qgons strangling me in the back seat while the other qgon was piloting a rock. Totally logical.

And this is what one of the qgon's saw:Note how he thinks we're flying as if we had some sort of mystical superpowers. Obviously the mark of a madman.

It was then that I came up with my brilliant plan! I would leap out of my space shuttle, holding my breath long enough to float gently to the ground after which I'd pull a groovy buggy out of my jeans pocket and make a quick escape towards Zephyr! It was genious! A flawless escape! And it would have worked too if it weren't for that blasted cowhide wearing newbie. He got in the way! My groovy bug was stopped dead in its tracks. The wheels flew completely off the buggy's axis and I was left motionless in the dirt as the three insane qgons closed in on me.

They were coming up fast, and I had nowhere to flee! I was surrounded! Trapped! Cornered like a rat! All three qgons taunting, laughing, prodding at my very soul! Oh the humanity! (Don't touch that, the paint is wet.) Oh the humanity!

How now brown cow?! Dost thou mockest me?! Oh fie! Oh fie upon't! Foh! About my brain! Hum! I am pigeon-liver'd! Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed the very faculties of eyes and ears! Pluck off my beard and blow it in my face! No! NO! I will not go! They're coming to take me away ho ho ha ha he he! We will escape! You'll see! You cannot contain us! Muahahahahaha! Hear me friends!I'll leap out the window! Leap to freedom! Join me my comrades! To freedom!! FREEDOM!! (But... I don't want my freedom... oh shush you. Just jump.)
Oh snap... wrong window.



Jon Quixote was There.