To The Bat-Asylum!
These things are bound to happen. Sooner or later we all lose it. For some poor souls it happens sooner. Some are lucky and don't go mad until the final days of their life. For qgon, sadly, this was not the case. He went completely bananas last night while we were taking a cruise through Duda Beach. Yep, qgon is a fruitcake.
It all started after I downloaded a new beta client which was offered to me by There in an attempt to fix some of the issues regarding the most recent update. Yes, we're still having problems with this thing. No, I'm not interested in buying your new-fangled vacuum cleaner. You see, we drove straight out into the bay on our TUVs trying to cause some tech diffy messages while all those millions upon billions of textures crammed together in such a small confined space attempted to force themselves upon our unwilling hard drives inevitably eliciting a reverberation which exacerbated the already precarious
Oops, sorry. I must have ran into something. What was I saying? Oh yeah, so qgon's degeneration to insanity began with the development of multiple personality disorder. Suddenly, and without warning, I was speaking to three separate qgons! One of the new qgons claimed to be the leader of some kind of army, the other was a prophet of peace. I tried to make a fast getaway in my hoverboat, but... well, boats don't make the best getaway vehicles. Before I even managed to take off, two of the qgons leapt into my boat and began strangling me! (What? Of course I didn't forget, let me tell the story already! Yeesh. No, I already said I don't want your dumb vacuum cleaner!!) So, there I was, all alone with the two qgons in the middle of nowhere, segmentation violations all around me! Technical Difficulties were literally knocking on the cockpit glass! What was I to do?! I decided to seek the advice of the council of elders.
They told me to beseech these two fellows for help, who promptly gave me a candy cane and sent me on my merry way.
So there I was again, all alone. Except for the two qgons that were strangling me from the back seat of my space shuttle. Yeah you heard me, space shuttle. And it's a pretty sleek looking craft if I do say so myself. But I didn't have time to think about any of that! I was being strangled! Only a madman would strangle a totally sane person such as myself in his own space shuttle. I can prove he's gone loony! Look here! This is my proof. Note how one of the qgons remained off the shore of the beach in the water where he was safe and used unholy magic to transmit his text bubbles onto my shuttle, miles away! Look I say! Click to enlarge if you must!
As further proof of qgon's insanity, I present to you the following. This is what I saw:
As you can see, this is a completely rational image. I was in my space shuttle flying over the beach, and there were the two qgons strangling me in the back seat while the other qgon was piloting a rock. Totally logical.
And this is what one of the qgon's saw:
Note how he thinks we're flying as if we had some sort of mystical superpowers. Obviously the mark of a madman.
It was then that I came up with my brilliant plan! I would leap out of my space shuttle, holding my breath long enough to float gently to the ground after which I'd pull a groovy buggy out of my jeans pocket and make a quick escape towards Zephyr! It was genious! A flawless escape! And it would have worked too if it weren't for that blasted cowhide wearing newbie. He got in the way! My groovy bug was stopped dead in its tracks. The wheels flew completely off the buggy's axis and I was left motionless in the dirt as the three insane qgons closed in on me.
They were coming up fast, and I had nowhere to flee! I was surrounded! Trapped! Cornered like a rat! All three qgons taunting, laughing, prodding at my very soul! Oh the humanity! (Don't touch that, the paint is wet.) Oh the humanity!
How now brown cow?! Dost thou mockest me?! Oh fie! Oh fie upon't! Foh! About my brain! Hum! I am pigeon-liver'd! Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed the very faculties of eyes and ears! Pluck off my beard and blow it in my face! No! NO! I will not go! They're coming to take me away ho ho ha ha he he! We will escape! You'll see! You cannot contain us! Muahahahahaha! Hear me friends!
I'll leap out the window! Leap to freedom! Join me my comrades! To freedom!! FREEDOM!! (But... I don't want my freedom... oh shush you. Just jump.)
It all started after I downloaded a new beta client which was offered to me by There in an attempt to fix some of the issues regarding the most recent update. Yes, we're still having problems with this thing. No, I'm not interested in buying your new-fangled vacuum cleaner. You see, we drove straight out into the bay on our TUVs trying to cause some tech diffy messages while all those millions upon billions of textures crammed together in such a small confined space attempted to force themselves upon our unwilling hard drives inevitably eliciting a reverberation which exacerbated the already precarious
Oops, sorry. I must have ran into something. What was I saying? Oh yeah, so qgon's degeneration to insanity began with the development of multiple personality disorder. Suddenly, and without warning, I was speaking to three separate qgons! One of the new qgons claimed to be the leader of some kind of army, the other was a prophet of peace. I tried to make a fast getaway in my hoverboat, but... well, boats don't make the best getaway vehicles. Before I even managed to take off, two of the qgons leapt into my boat and began strangling me! (What? Of course I didn't forget, let me tell the story already! Yeesh. No, I already said I don't want your dumb vacuum cleaner!!) So, there I was, all alone with the two qgons in the middle of nowhere, segmentation violations all around me! Technical Difficulties were literally knocking on the cockpit glass! What was I to do?! I decided to seek the advice of the council of elders.
They told me to beseech these two fellows for help, who promptly gave me a candy cane and sent me on my merry way.
So there I was again, all alone. Except for the two qgons that were strangling me from the back seat of my space shuttle. Yeah you heard me, space shuttle. And it's a pretty sleek looking craft if I do say so myself. But I didn't have time to think about any of that! I was being strangled! Only a madman would strangle a totally sane person such as myself in his own space shuttle. I can prove he's gone loony! Look here! This is my proof. Note how one of the qgons remained off the shore of the beach in the water where he was safe and used unholy magic to transmit his text bubbles onto my shuttle, miles away! Look I say! Click to enlarge if you must!
As further proof of qgon's insanity, I present to you the following. This is what I saw:
As you can see, this is a completely rational image. I was in my space shuttle flying over the beach, and there were the two qgons strangling me in the back seat while the other qgon was piloting a rock. Totally logical.And this is what one of the qgon's saw:
Note how he thinks we're flying as if we had some sort of mystical superpowers. Obviously the mark of a madman.It was then that I came up with my brilliant plan! I would leap out of my space shuttle, holding my breath long enough to float gently to the ground after which I'd pull a groovy buggy out of my jeans pocket and make a quick escape towards Zephyr! It was genious! A flawless escape! And it would have worked too if it weren't for that blasted cowhide wearing newbie. He got in the way! My groovy bug was stopped dead in its tracks. The wheels flew completely off the buggy's axis and I was left motionless in the dirt as the three insane qgons closed in on me.
They were coming up fast, and I had nowhere to flee! I was surrounded! Trapped! Cornered like a rat! All three qgons taunting, laughing, prodding at my very soul! Oh the humanity! (Don't touch that, the paint is wet.) Oh the humanity!
How now brown cow?! Dost thou mockest me?! Oh fie! Oh fie upon't! Foh! About my brain! Hum! I am pigeon-liver'd! Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed the very faculties of eyes and ears! Pluck off my beard and blow it in my face! No! NO! I will not go! They're coming to take me away ho ho ha ha he he! We will escape! You'll see! You cannot contain us! Muahahahahaha! Hear me friends!
I'll leap out the window! Leap to freedom! Join me my comrades! To freedom!! FREEDOM!! (But... I don't want my freedom... oh shush you. Just jump.)
Oh snap... wrong window.
Jon Quixote was There.
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