Jon Quixote was There!

Mad Cow disease strikes again!!

2011-07-19T23:39:00.001-04:00

My fellow almost-Therians, today I call upon each and every one of you to help eradicate our beloved Theria of a terrible disease which has plagued us since the earliest days of our creation. I speak, of course, of the dreaded Bordemvine Spongy-tummy Encel-apathy, or Mad Cow disease. Scientists have long suspected the disease is transmitted to avatars through their operators in the Real, resulting in aberrant avatar attitudes, uncontrollable griefing urges, inexplicable weight gain, and general misbehavior and mucking about.

Just recently, high-ranking scientists in There have uncovered incontrovertible evidence linking Mad Cow disease to operators in the Real. It began as any other day with Therian engineers and astronomers working hard to fish our world out from the deep, dark depths of a particularly nasty quantum singularity which passed a little too close to our planet early last year. This event, as we all know, resulted in the long period of pitch black darkness we are currently in known as The Great Blackout. As these engineers were busy sitting on the existential docks of the universe, casting a wide net into the quantum singularity, one of them happened to notice some odd data being sent back along the net. At first, the strange data had him thoroughly confused but, thankfully, he remembered a fabulous resource to correlate information on similar events in There's past. He clicked around my blog for a while until he stumbled upon the Mad Cow disease archives. Realizing they may have an imminent outbreak, the engineers called in every scientists, astronomer, psychologist, and veterinarian with knowledge on the topic. They were up all night studying the data and drawing conclusions with jumbo multi-colored chalk on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, while they were busy doodling away, the quantum singularity they were supposed to be monitoring sucked them right up.

The conclusions they drew on the sidewalk remain, however, and they reveal some startling information. As it turns out, Mad Cow disease is in fact transmitted to avatars through their operators out in the real. How an avatar's operator becomes infected with the stupifying disease may remain a mystery, but at last we may have found a way to prevent the spread of this horrific disease. Simply ban them!!

Read a disposition given by one of There's high-ranking engineers on the data he was analyzing before being sucked into the singularity by clicking here.

Jon Quixote will be There!

Psyche!

2011-07-01T00:10:00.003-04:00

Ha ha, just kidding!!

Michael Wilson and friends announced just recently that There will, in fact, be re-opening! After all this time, There2 will surely be a wondrous technological marvel representative of the miraculous evolution of next-generation cloud-based cream-filled whiffy goodness combined with modern social media marketing techniques and pixy powered automagical wish-granting super-cooled, hyper-threaded, twenty core.....

You know what, just read all the latest news for yourself.

Jon Quixote will be There.

All Good Things...

2010-03-02T17:51:00.000-05:00

There is officially turning off the lights on March 9th, 2010.

The memories we've made survive even after the twilight ends.
We had a good run.

Farewell, There.

Jon Quixote was There.

Thanks, Sonny!

2009-04-27T01:18:00.001-04:00

You probably didn't even know this, but the men's muddy hiking boots have been broken for years. With these recent updates to the client resources, Sonblock must have finally fixed them.

I've spammed Sonny's mailbox with enough pokes and jests over the years regarding the broken boots that I suppose a meager apology is in order.

Thanks, Sonny!

Jon Quixote was There!

Total Disaster Averted!

2009-04-26T17:18:00.002-04:00

While dusting off and reorganizing my treehouse, I accidentally hit the "Take Out" button instead of "Put Back" on the main paz, which contains more than two thirds of the treehouse's structure. Big whoops!

Before my very eyes, I saw almost the entire treehouse crumble to the ground. Every nail was unfastened, every plank deplankified, and every theremite... well, actually, I suppose they continued happily munching away on the wood, not much caring whether it was in the tree or on the ground. Needless to say, I was quite distraught.

In fact, I was even more distraught than the time g0d decided to smite me beneath her awesome might. More perplexed than the time I pondered the existential question "how many avatars can you fit in a row boat?". More surprised than the time Elaur translated the symbols in Venue Vash. More awestruck than the time I found Blinky relieving himself in public. I was in more pain than the time I slipped on a banana peel while taking a stroll on the streets of Lagoland. And the time Chaz traded his family's last cow for a few "magic" beans doesn't even begin to compare to the unexpected combination of utter horror ("oh g0d, oh g0d, we're all going to die! Abandon ship! Don't cross the streams!") and total apathy that I felt in this moment.

Yes, it was a failure of epic proportions, if ever there was one. But, as the title of this entry suggests, all was not lost! Yes, my treehouse was indeed laid out flat before me on the ground, but I quickly mounted my hoverpack, called in a favor to my twin avatar to help me eyeball things from another viewpoint (I've become quite proficient at the science of cloning over the years), and proceeded with the daunting task of redropping the paz exactly where it belonged. Having no reference other than a general recollection to go by--for I did not believe in GPS back in those days--I managed to line up the paz using a scroll and an eagle's nest as my pivot points to almost precisely the location it previously rested. Given that there were four separate axes to line up (left to right, forward to back, up and down, and rotational), I consider this an enormous feat which I could only have accomplished through an immeasureable amount of luck.

Immeasurable though it may be, it happened, I'm incredibly relieved, and you should be too. Come visit my treehouse and see why it would have been such a disaster to have to rebuild it (again again ...again) from scratch!

Jon Quixote was There!

Hunt for There_Monitor 4/25/09

2009-04-25T22:32:00.004-04:00

From the journal of There_Monitor....

And I thought the Botanical Gardens had a lot of growth. WOW! This place must have a real Miracle Grow!

Miracle Grow...

'hm

Miracle Grow...

'aha!

Woah, she grew her hair out and dyed it a different color! I always thought she was naturally blue-haired. And just look at her, sporting that hip, cool new style! I tried to be hip and cool once, but it didn't go exactly as planned.

Jon Quixote was There!

...help?!

2009-02-21T23:07:00.002-05:00

What did you do now, E?

Jon Quixote was There!

There is No Sp--Woah What's That?!

2008-12-21T20:21:00.000-05:00

Chaz' brilliance continues to astound and bewilder.

Jon Quixote was There!

Frostbite. No, wait! Hypothermia!

2008-12-04T02:29:00.003-05:00

Elaur needed an opponent for Thereywood Squares and figured that I'd be a good choice. Little did she know that I'm a world-renowned expert tic-tac-toe player with more than fifty international championships beneath my belt!

It's true.

So, after a brief overview (or two) of the rules from Francis (or three), we were on to the first round. It was neck and neck for a moment, but then Elaur was faced with a most curious question. Given that she's from Cleveland, it seemed obvious that she would know what Washington D.C.'s lowest temperature on record was.

Round two shortly followed with questions just as gripping as the first, and certainly no shortage of trivia about Washington D.C.! Robert almost tricked me into agreeing with him about its record precipitation, but I just got this sketchy vibe from him. I couldn't quite place my finger on it though:

"Now, you should believe me because I know what I'm talking about. In fact, I've lived in Washington D.C. most of my life so you really should believe me. And I'm being perfectly honest when I say that I know everything there is to know about Washington D.C. and so I really think you should take me at my word when I say that..."

And so it seemed our game was coming rapidly to a close, but I just couldn't have that. Nono, I was dragged into this game kicking and screaming so I was going to see it through! I gave one of my victories to Elaur behind Francis' back and we promptly proceeded to sudden death overtime.

So there we were, two O's and no X's on the board. Victory was within my grasp. My question was "What is the cause of the most accidents in the winter?" Chagall's answer was ZMW's. I looked at Elaur, biting her nails; she knew it was over. I glanced at the board, gripping my seat with sweaty palms; this was it. I agreed with Chagall.

Well who knew ZMW's weren't real automobiles?!

Somewhere in the hysteria that ensued, we wound up in a tie. There was some difference of opinion as to whether or not there_testers got frostbite running around Frosty in their skivvies, or maybe it was Onus who thought Francis was suffering from hypothermia--you know, I don't really recall what the confusion was all about to be honest. Either way, Elaur and I somehow both won the grand and runner up prizes. We celebrated our new wheels over a pizza.

Jon Quixote was There!

Godzilla!

2008-11-21T20:17:00.005-05:00

Before the open house of the new Welcome Walkway ends, I think a self-guided tour of the new docks is in order. Grab your cameras and fanny packs but, please, don't feed the wildlife.

When a newbie or, in this case, a hapless tourist lands at this isolated dock, they are greeted by a nifty little tutorial which is intended to guide the poor brainless sod through his or her paces, imparting various bits of wisdom along the way. I couldn't help but notice, however, the lack of any signage carrying the cautionary wisdom: "NO BEGGING!!". I've heard they're still refining the docks, though, so perhaps it will be included in a future revision.

They really pulled out all the stops for our precious newbies on the new dock. Even the captain of the nearby luxury cruise ship, the S.S. Skippy, is on call waiting to greet every new potential griefer!

Appropriately themed spas have also been conveniently located a mere stone's throw from where we landed. These spas were undoubtedly placed here to allow newbies to make the much-needed trimmings to their eyebrows, among various other bodily enhancements which, I'm sure, accurately reflect the physique of their operators out in the Real.

The spas also provide a nice comfy couch for our newbie friends to explore the curious magnetics which infallibly attract the lips of two avies-in-orange when they are seated in close proximity to one another. I sure wish they'd do something about that penetratingly loud noise though.

The dock is also home to a couple of stylized private boats which successfully kidnap Jules Verne and smoosh him beneath the bow of a yacht before inflating him with feelium and roasting him beneath the Delorean-style hoverjets freshly installed on a Southern riverboat. Gruesome, I know, but that's what happens when you feed the local wildlife when you were expressly cautioned not to do so.

The final treasure these docks have to offer is a lovely set of miniatures, adeptly sculpted to match a few of the various scenic landmarks our precious planet has to offer. And aren't they just the cutest little toys you've ever seen?

While it's still open to visitors, you can tour the Welcome Walkway here. Make with the clicking, but steer clear of the locals!

Jon Quixote was There!

Don't Eat The Burrito

2008-06-10T20:58:00.000-04:00

Chef tried warn him, but he just didn't want to listen. Headstrong and courageous, he had his own ideas about what makes a good wrap. As he sat there waiting for his food, I knew that hungry grin on his face could only mean one thing: Trouble.

As he inhaled the last of his super sized meal, a look of bright red horror overtook his face. That was not any ordinary burrito he just ate. No, that burrito had a little extra...something...courtesy of the chef.

Poor guy went soaring off into the sunset, right then and there. Yep, I bet he's somewhere on the other side of Theria by now. Hope he sends me a postcard...

Jon Quixote was There!

Rest in Peace, Mr. Blinky

2008-01-25T21:21:00.000-05:00

We all know Mr. Blinky. He's the ghostly pale avatar with a DOID number for a name. He is the biggest mystery of our time, out there constantly blinking in and out of existence, forever casting those longing eyes of his out upon the farthest reaches of Therian soil. He's been a friend to each and every one of us since the very moment we were first introduced to this unique individual, standing in stark contrast to the brightly colored landscape around him. From Saja's shoreline out into the vast blue concrete, from one coast of New Kansas to the other, he's seen good times and bad times, he's been trapped and subsequently released, he's been held hostage and paid homage to, he's met all kinds of people and has seen to the farthest corners of Theria, he's had a girlfriend, he's been entrusted by many of us with countless untold secrets, and he's even been allowed to relieve himself on rare occasion.

This is our friend, Mr. Blinky, DOID number 108891507. But he wasn't always so. Once upon a time, he had a purpose. He was created for a specific reason and he was content to fulfill that purpose. He lived out his life in Saja, surrounded by a tranquil atmosphere and soundtrack. But one day, something went terribly wrong. A horrible accident took place in Saja which thundered through the sky and shook every pod in its soil. And thus Blinky was unwillingly created, transformed into the white man we know and love. His first moments in this new existence must have been horrifying as he tumbled downward from his once comfortable location atop a floating island, spiraling toward the unknown land below. He shortly found himself standing on the shore of a completely foreign island, dense fog threatening him on one side, an ocean of blue concrete beckoning him on the other, and an ominous moon hanging above his head.

It wasn't long before others took notice of this newcomer, this strange gh0st in the machine. He received quite a bit of attention for one lone avatar. People wondered why he looked so sad and why he gazed outward into the unknown, seeming to long for an existence now so distant and unreachable, longing to be more--or less--than what he was. People visited him, studied him, spoke to him, and even wrote poetry about him. One day, someone decided Mr. Blinky required a change of scenery to improve his overall disposition. And thus began a great migratory effort to move Blinky to his new home on New Kansas, miles from his familiar abode on Saja, where he would reside for the rest of his life as Mr. Blinky.

Little is known about the circumstances surrounding his creation. The staff have admitted their own failure to correct the anomaly which created him. At one point, an attempt was made to simply vanquish him--eradicate him from existence in order to correct the flaw. The procedure was a rather simple one, but Mr. Blinky resisted. The Avman servers subsequently reported his nonexistence and yet there he was, blinking away, locked in a never-ending struggle for survival.

But that was not the only struggle Mr. Blinky has faced. His very nature invoked such curiosity in people, especially newcomers. Sadly, there have been those who did not respect Mr. Blinky and who have attempted to exploit him for their own benefit. But Mr. Blinky would not be taken advantage of. He would amuse himself with their antics for a time, but he would invariably grow weary of such trivialities and move on, ever reaching for his one true purpose in life.

Until one day, when that purpose was returned to him. The anomaly which created Mr. Blinky was finally found and corrected, and Mr. Blinky was returned to his former and original self. It is theorized that this correction was necessitated by upgrades to the client which allows us access to this world. Whatever the reason behind it, Mr. Blinky now resides back in Saja, DOID number 108891507. Justin and I found him among friends, similar DOID numbers which indicate a sequence of creation on this particular floating island. Simply fly Northeast from the main teleport point on Saja and land on the first island you glimpse. There he happily and peacefully watches over the Zoyoa Garden as its signpost, forever the garden's gatekeeper. Blinky has finally found that which he has sought all his life.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Blinky.

Jon Quixote was There!

Hunt for There_Monitor 1/19/08

2008-01-20T14:56:00.000-05:00

I had been dwelling on this clue all weekend. What could it mean? A bubble? I was as confused as a newborn baby. In an attempt to clear my head, I went for a short cruise. I hopped in my buggy and off I went, up to my bumper in our ocean's crystal clear water. I was following a shoreline south when, like a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick, it hit me square in the face. Suddenly, everything made perfect sense! As all the clues fell into place, I popped the e-brake, spun that little buggy of mine around, and shot off to find There_Monitor!

From the journal of There_Monitor....

Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink. I was soooooooo thirsty. And I felt totally trapped on my small round island. Other islands were nearby but I could not manage the sea between myself and the next spot of land. I began to see the mirage of a cold drink in the distance, but I didn't need a mirage. I needed THE REAL THING! Miraculously a balloon landed by me. My rescuer laughed at my thirst. "You are so close to refreshment," he said. "I could see it clearly from the air. You are perched on a bubble!"

As you can see, There_Monitor still wears that Adventure Quest t-shirt instead of the Big Eights shirt she has worn most of her life prior. I suppose change is inevitable. Nevertheless, she will always remain an icon of Big Eights for those of us who remember.

Jon Quixote was There!

Foul Play

2007-12-08T18:53:00.000-05:00

Due to his lack of Internet at home, Net found himself in need of a middle man who could access his account and give a couple gifts to a friend for his birthday. Net has entrusted me with this task.

...he really shouldn't have.

Honest, I had every intention of leaving his account completely untouched, but then there was that nagging voice in my head telling me to be naughty.

As usual, goodness hardly put up a fight.

AppleBees even made a contribution to the insanity. But I couldn't stop there. I added a few small items to his inventory and then decided to set up a little experiment. I wanted to find out precisely how long an avatar could survive without air. Based on my results so far, things are not looking good for Net's avatar. Net had better get his Internet back real soon.

Awww, wookit dah cute widdle netwidah! Ain't he purdy?

Jon Quixote was There!

Mischief Night

2007-10-31T02:15:00.000-04:00

Suicidal Therians from across the globe have been gathering in Zephyr for what looks to be one wild mischief night this year thanks, in no small part, to the antics of the ringleader of the occult Vashists. With the introduction of a new skill, the 2007 Trick or Treater, everyone is going wild trying to determine what makes their skill level increase and decrease. The current dominating theory revolves around the use of a paintgun--primarily, being pummeled by an avatar wielding one.

Shooting back is rumored to decrease your skill level and, oddly enough, taking a sip of some coffee appears to be responsible for many a "Dead Trick or Treater". I always knew coffee was a nasty habit.

Other theories revolve around hats, costumes, drinks, quantum space-time vortices, and even bare feet--Remember the old saying "Trick or treat, smell my feat, give me something good to eat..."? The only official news we have on the skill comes from Vash in the forums. He has informed us that there are a few pairs of Vash brand Goggles floating around which will have an impact on the skill. Holding on to them will cause the skill level to drop, while giving them away will cause it to increase. Could this be an honest attempt to foster a sharing mindset among Therians? Or is it just a tangible symbol of Vash's vanity? Are the goggles just another rare object being propagated by the staff? Are they the mark of the Vashist? How many are out there? And why don't I have a pair yet?!

Justin and I have been trying to make sense of all this absurdity, imagining connections where surely none exist, if only in a vain attempt to fool our minds into thinking the universe is symmetrical and all the square pegs fit very nicely inside all the matching square holes. To that end, we've discovered that giving 1 therebuck to someone seems to give you a 0.1 percent increase in your Trick or Treater skill. We've associated this with giving out tiny bite-sized treats to trick or treaters on Halloween--you know, the ones that only leave you starving for more candy. Justin also drew an interesting comparison between paintballing someone and egging their house on mischief night.

Trick or treat, indeed.

In any case, a Happy Halloween to all of you!

Jon Quixote was There!

More Disconnected Thoughts

2007-10-06T19:57:00.000-04:00

For previous irrationally detached, disjointed, incohesive, or otherwise incoherent thoughts see:
Disconnected Thoughts

Is this proper table etiquette?

It takes a bit of practice, but once you get your feet wet you'll soon master such techniques as:

The backstroke

The Front Crawl

and Dead Man's Float

Or you can take a stab at the inverted dog paddle.

Look out! Psycho soccer mom in an SUV is late for her hair appointment!

It's a robot. You know, like a super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese. Yeah, it's definitely Japanese.

Hey, uh, this thing has airbags, right?

schhhkt

Baker baker, one-four-niner, we've lost contact with Jon Quixote. Please advise Houston, over.

chhk

Today in the news: Second Life has issued one brand new ultra-high-end computer to each resident in order to ensure that bare minimum hardware requirements are met for a somewhat pleasing gaming experience. Between all the quad graphics cards, octa-core processors, and more memory than the combined capacity of every human brain (living and dead), all those computers require so much power that Second Life has opened up its very own nuclear power plant and has begun dumping its toxic waste into There's oceans.

Do not eat the fish.

Almost eighty percent of Therian mushrooms you come across in the wild are highly poisonous. The other twenty percent just totally %$#@! with your mind.

Your timelimit has been reached. Thank you for playing There! Take care now, bye-bye then.

...There are no fish in this pond, are there.

Jon Quixote was There!

Blinky-in-a-Box

2007-10-04T22:42:00.000-04:00

Last week, in Bedtime Story For Blinky, I wrote about how some unknown person had stripped Blinky of his forcefield and how Blinky, therefore, began to fall prey to every drunken buggy driver and cross-eyed paintballer out there on New Kansas. I also explained that:

At least a few good men--and women--have banded together to protect Mister Blinky from just such a fate. Now, we all know what it's like to fall victim to one of those nasty bubble traps; nobody enjoys being caged up that way. Putting myself in Blinky's shoes, I fear their solution is far from ideal but, considering the alternative, it may be necessary. Either they were to protect him, or let him fall victim to every griefer's bumper from here to Egypt and back until he was lost forever at sea.

It's a rare thing, but it would appear I have misjudged the character of Seg_Vio and oOVixenOo, the two owners of the Metropolis neighborhood. I was under the impression that they were protecting Blinky. In fact, Seg_Vio himself assured me that this was a less than perfect solution and that he wished there was another way. He told me how he sent e-mails to There Help asking if anybody could restore his forcefield, all to no avail. He seemed to express much regret over having to cage Blinky at all!

And I fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker.

Let me explain. This evening, I had a chat with Spiritus about Blinky's forcefield situation. Spiritus has always been able to fix problems such as this and he quite easily re-activated Blinky's forcefield. At that point, I threw my arms up in the air and rejoiced! Yay! The problem is solved! Blinky can once again roam free! I went to Seg_Vio with the good news and--wait, what? He wouldn't let Blinky go free!

Imagine that. Who woulda' thought? Chalk it up to human nature, I suppose. We all want that which we cannot have. Mr. Blinky is an anomaly in this world, a true gh0st in the machine. He never has and never will be possessed by anybody. Seg_Vio and oOVixenOo are just two more names on the long list of people who have tried to claim ownership of the poor guy. Remember Lenwa?

Of course, I did try to be as diplomatic as possible. I explained to them that Blinky no longer needed protection, that he was simply not meant to be caged up, and all I got in return were vague threats and rude remarks about my linguistic aptitude.

oovixenoo: why you want blinky removed from metro jon?

Jon_Quixote: Well, it was my understanding that you both put him there to protect him, right?

oovixenoo: listen
oovixenoo: its really not your concern at all
oovixenoo: we'll handle it

Jon_Quixote: I've gotten Spiritus to reactivate Blinky's forcefield. So there's no need for that anymore.

oovixenoo: so no more worrying about it for you ok?
oovixenoo: we'd appreciate if you'd just let us run our own business :D thanks
oovixenoo: we obviously enjoy having blinky in our hood
oovixenoo: and many ppl enjoy coming to see him there

Jon_Quixote: You see, now I have a problem with that. Because now he's trapped unnecessarily.

oovixenoo: jon, its' an avatar with no one behind it
oovixenoo: stop acting like its a dog or something
oovixenoo: just leave us be
oovixenoo: ty
oovixenoo: in other words
oovixenoo: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

[sic]

Ouch. A door in the face kind of 'ouch'. Never one to give up, however, I persisted in trying to understand their motives:

Jon_Quixote: Seg_Vio, do you have anything to say on the matter?

oovixenoo: he absolutely agrees with me
oovixenoo: sorry to break it to you
oovixenoo: but thats the way it is

Jon_Quixote: I guess I misjudged you folks.

oovixenoo: i guess we misjudged you HORRIBLY

Jon_Quixote: I was under the impression you were doing this to protect him.

oovixenoo: we are
oovixenoo: and we are enjoying him
oovixenoo: and letting masses enjoy him with events

Jon_Quixote: He no longer needs protection.

oovixenoo: jon
oovixenoo: mind your own business
oovixenoo: your life will be much happier for it i guarantee it
oovixenoo: i know ppl like you
oovixenoo: and trust me
oovixenoo: you'll be happier if you just mind your own business

Jon_Quixote: Are you threatening me?

oovixenoo: saying you'd be happier if you mind your own business is a threat???
oovixenoo: what language do you speak???

[sic]

I think I speak English, but Vixen has me uncertain of that fact now. I'll have to remember to double-check with the dictionary. Is anybody else out there getting bad vibes from her language? I, for one, picked up a rather threatening tone in Vixen's words.

I do understand that Seg_Vio and Vixen enjoy having Blinky in their neighborhood. After all, who wouldn't enjoy having a Therian icon standing in the middle of their land? But what you have to understand is that not everybody likes seeing Mr. Blinky in that neighborhood, as Seg_Vio and Vixen would have you believe. After speaking with Spiritus, I have come to understand that many people have personally asked him to remove Blinky from the neighborhood. Spiritus, being the fine upstanding gentleman that he is, does not want to take any action until he feels it is completely justified. He was not yet prepared to remove Blinky. However, he was also previously unaware of the fact that Blinky's forcefield had been removed. Now that he knows, I'm sure Spiritus will be keeping a closer eye on our dear friend Mr. Blinky.

A question to ponder: In light of recent events, can I continue to believe Seg_Vio when he told me that he was not responsible for removing Blinky's forcefield? I would sincerely like to believe that he and Vixen were being honest with me but, after the way they reacted to my request to free Blinky, I am no longer so certain. I am also unsure as to whether or not Seg_Vio really did e-mail There Help in order to request his forcefield be reactivated.

Furthermore, remember that clear box Blinky was enclosed in?

Seg_Vio even promised he'd see what he could do about improving the view from within the protective polycarbonate box.

If this is what is known as "improving the view", then I guess I do need to take a night course in the English language:

That black box is Blinky's current domicile.

Seg_Vio and Vixen repeatedly asked me to mind my own business. This also implies that they would prefer I shut my mouth and left Blinky in their hands. I would never even dream of trying to tell them how to run their neighborhood. After all, they do pay money for it. That neighborhood is their property and may, therefore, be governed however they like. But what about Mr. Blinky? From an ethical standpoint, is it appropriate for them to trap an individual that many people care about and then claim exclusive rights to that individual? Of course, can we even apply human ethics to an inanimate object? Everyone I have ever met standing beside Mr. Blinky personifies him, so I would argue that, in this case, we can. He does, after all, even appear to have his own personality hidden away behind that white visage. Just look into those perpetually sad eyes of his and tell me you don't feel his pain.

I will, as Seg_Vio and Vixen requested, leave them be. You will not find me disturbing their neighborhood nor rallying troops in Blinky's defense. I leave that to more capable and intrepid souls. I will, however, remind everyone that Mr. Blinky has escaped such subjugation before and I have every confidence that he will find his way out this time.

Jon Quixote was There!

T0ast in the Machine

2007-09-26T02:24:00.000-04:00

Why does everyone keep inquiring about t0ast in the machine? What's the sudden fascination with t0ast?! I'm told it's the most popular thing to hit the streets of There since sliced bread. People, it is sliced bread! Come on now, I mean, it's just a breakfast food! Please, I beg you, stop asking me about t0ast in the machine!! I'm clueless here, honest!

...I prefer biscuits anyway.

Jon Quixote was There!

Bedtime Story For Blinky

2007-09-26T02:05:00.000-04:00

It may not exactly be breaking news but, in my negligence, I had failed to notice that Mr. Blinky's forcefield had been removed several months ago. As you can imagine, this came as quite a shock to me, being good friends with ol' Blinky. Justin and I set out across beautiful Kansas to locate him.

During our flight, we had time to ponder the following questions: Who would want to do such a horrible thing to a poor defenseless avatar like Blinky? Why would they want to strip him of his last protective barrier against griefers, who make a living out of such things, and Vashists, who just can't stand to see any other icon held in favor over their own? I can think of a few possible methods for accomplishing such a devious feat, but the biggest question here remains: Why?

Poor old Blinky, he'd never hurt a fly! Sure, he might make you blink in and out of existence every now and again, but it was all in good fun. He never meant anything by it! And you always walked away completely unscathed. Well, sure, okay, maybe a few avatars over the years have reported one or two missing pixels, but generally such side effects are mild, extremely uncommon, and almost always worth the risk. Besides, what's a few pixels between good friends, right?

But now, without his forcefield, is poor old Mister Blinky facing the same fate as the original Credit Cube? Is he doomed to spend an eternity being bounced around the islands with his face skidding in the mud like some kind of old, rejected rag doll? Is that how we treat our icons in this world? Is that how we treat our friends in this world?

At least a few good men--and women--have banded together to protect Mister Blinky from just such a fate. Now, we all know what it's like to fall victim to one of those nasty bubble traps; nobody enjoys being caged up that way. Putting myself in Blinky's shoes, I fear their solution is far from ideal but, considering the alternative, it may be necessary. Either they were to protect him, or let him fall victim to every griefer's bumper from here to Egypt and back until he was lost forever at sea.

Having chosen the lesser of the two evils, poor Blinky was rounded up, placed in a protected neighborhood lot, and shielded from stray paintballs, drunken buggy drivers, flying boards which have misplaced their owner, spilled Flaming Bananas, and the like. I spoke with Seg_Vio and his friends, those responsible for Blinky's protection, and found that they are doing everything possible to ensure Blinky's complete comfort during his stay in protective custody. He has been provided with a laptop and a highspeed connection to There so he can entertain himself, an endless supply of coffee for all those late nights riding around in his Groovy Buggy, and a comfortable desk to sit at. And, although he is completely enclosed within a protective, paintball-resistant, UV-filtering, lag-dampening, polycarbonate box, Seg_Vio ensures me that he has adequate ventilation in there.

Justin and I spent a good deal of time with Blinky making sure all his needs were being met. Seg_Vio even promised he'd see what he could do about improving the view from within the protective polycarbonate box. Justin read Blinky a bedtime story to cheer him up, left him a bag of chips and a few bandages for all his bumps and bruises, I left him another bottle of SPF-10,000 just in case, and we each said our goodnights in turn.

Goodnight, Mister Blinky. Keep your chin up! We'll find a better solution soon enough. And watch out for that dog, he looks nasty.

Jon Quixote was There!

Edit: This entry has been updated. Please see Blinky-in-a-Box for more information.

Hunt for There_Monitor 9/22/07

2007-09-22T20:19:00.000-04:00

Oh no! There_Monitor has misplaced her Big Eights t-shirt! Who would steal such a priceless possession right off of her back like that! At least she was left with a replacement shirt so she's not running around out there in her skivvies. While it's not half as unique, nor does it come packaged with half the history of her prior shirt, she still wears it with the same nonchalance she's always worn--Same old There_Monitor.

But who knows, maybe she simply decided it was time to wash that smelly old t-shirt of hers.

From the journal of There_Monitor...

Even in the night, I could easily see my surroundings. From my mountain top I could make out the glow of a village to the north, and to the east the moonlight cast its glow on some plants below. ... Or did they have a glow of their own?

Jon Quixote was There!

I Wanna Roll With the Gangstas...

2007-07-03T21:02:00.000-04:00

...but so far they all think I'm too white and nerdy.

Jon Quixote was There!

Windmills, Part I

2007-06-29T20:50:00.000-04:00

Why windmills, you may ask?
I don't know, I just think they're cool.
...
It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Jon Quixote was There!

Hunt for There_Monitor 6/23/07

2007-06-24T13:26:00.001-04:00

This hunt sure gave me a run for my money. I knew where she had to be, based on the clue, but finding her there was another story entirely.

From the journal of There_Monitor

I found myself on what, after some inspection, appeared to be the edge of a large body of land. Due east of me, the haze all but obscured a tall mountain.

Jon Quixote was There!

Net Finds a New Hobby

2007-06-24T01:32:00.000-04:00

Net, you are one sick and twisted human being.

Jon Quixote was (reluctantly) There!

Tropical Adventures

2007-06-20T14:02:00.000-04:00

While it may not be the latest news to most of you, yesterday was the first time I set foot on the new island of Kiani. I can't tell you how many times I've bugged Chaz--jokingly, of course--about animating those rides he had set out in Caldera's desert. Well, he's outdone himself yet again, folks. He even added a few new rides, some of my personal favorites! And then there are those lively parrots at the entrance! Eye candy follows but, believe you me: these screenshots just don't do it justice. To really appreciate Chaz' handiwork, you just have to visit the island yourself! It's located just southeast of Nada.

The first thing to notice when you visit the island is that it is an ongoing project. This construction permit is conspicuously displayed at the entryway.

Be sure to read the fine print, and then it's off to the main attraction!

These little lively parrots welcome you to the park. They breathe, move about, and even dance! Oh, did you try talking to them?

The first ride you'll notice, towering over the horizon, is the ferris wheel. Go on, check it out!

What a view!

Then, go for a spin on one of my all-time favorite rides, the scrambler!

Hey, look! There's a newbie trying to be friendly while our brains are getting scrambled.

But, wait, what's that ride over there? Can it be?

A quick height check at the tiki guy and I'm ready for one of my favorite rides ever: the pirate ship!

The last ride on the island was some kind of spinning tilted cup thing and, to be honest, I don't think I'm old enough for this ride. The Tiki guy agreed and so I passed on this one for now.

Taking a look at the island in aerial view, you can see several other pockets in the sand which look like reserved parking for future rides.

One of the more intriguing of those spots is this giant sand box at one end of the island. Can anyone say: roller coaster? Water slide?

Sadly, all good things must come to an end. Sooner or later, you will have to leave this little paradise island. But fear not my friend, for this island will still be here tomorrow for your enjoyment! So, until then:

Jon Quixote was There!

Beta 2.30 Part 3

2007-05-01T19:07:00.000-04:00

There is still working on fixing up problems with the water and the developer sandbox. Unfortunately, they haven't quite yet nailed down the ugly water line in the distance up in Northern Cangrejo, where my treehouse just so happens to be situated. Click to enlarge:

And just look what happens when you zoom up a little. Messy messy messy!

Jon Quixote was There!

Miracle Grow

2007-04-25T21:33:00.000-04:00

The tree growth problems I mentioned in my blog entry here continued to plague me for weeks. It seemed there was nothing that could be done to purify the tree of the poison that had been introduced which caused it to grow rapidly overnight! The staff were able to pinpoint the problem, but they stumbled when it came to finding a solution. Even the great Spiritus told me cleansing the tree at this point would be an impossible undertaking!

Yes, the situation was grave, indeed. It seemed all my hard work was for nothing and the treehouse would have to be disassembled. Then, suddenly, an idea! The problematic tree could be bypassed completely! A substitute was selected and, after much deliberation and careful mathematical calculation, the blueprints were drawn up. On paper, at least, it was structurally sound! Next came the miniature scale testing as proof of concept. It might actually work! Then, the life-size models and the ballistic gel test dummies were created. Several gratuitous explosions later, the building permit was acquired and I got straight to work! A little adjustment here, a few nails there, abracadabra!

Jon Quixote was There!

Beta Water! (And Other Stuff)

2007-04-19T13:48:00.000-04:00

Beta 2.30 Part 2 was last night! This beta brought us real moving water, complete with waves! Oh, yeah, there were some other changes, including the ones from the first 2.30 beta but who cares about that stuff. No more blue concrete!! Eye candy follows. Click to enlarge:

The beta got off to a bit of a shaky start. My inventory had some serious issues loading initially. Here's a shot of me standing still on my textureless flutterbug while hovering up in the air:

I couldn't take it any longer! I dove in and went for a swim in our brand new ocean! It was great!! Except for the drowning bit. Yeah, it took a little time to teach my avie just exactly how to swim, but I managed after a good deal of trial and error. Hey, give him a break! He had never even seen water before the beta!

It wasn't long, though, before he figured it all out and, from then on, it was smooth sailing! Er, swimming.

Buggies still make with the zoom zoom when navigating the oceans, and hoverboards actually hover above the surface of the water! The numerous reefs and cracks in the blue concrete still exist as reefs and cracks on the ocean floor, only now they're not blue anymore:

And the drain! Just look!

It would appear the drain has been clogged! Who would do such a thing?! All the water seems to have spilled over and re-flooded the oceans of Theria! Wohooo!

Under some of the more unique skies in There, the water looked absolutely stunning:

Up in Northern Cangrejo, however, the water was looking kinda funky at a distance. And what's with the square shape?

Water was not the only thing being tested in this beta. We also had lab zones! Developer sandboxes, of sorts. You dropped a zone and a test object, then you were able to apply any texture or model you desired to that object and view the change immediately in-world!

Those lab zones weren't without their own little quirks, though.

Everything was going fairly smoothly right up until the--

Screenshot, crash dump, There.log, dxdiag.txt, zip 'em up and mail 'em off. But nothing was quite the same after that seg vio. Strange things began happening. At first, I just couldn't leave my lab zone. So I picked it up. Sounded like a good plan at the time. Then, I suddenly found myself rubberbanding back to the same point. So I relogged. Then, well... my avie sorta got lost in the infamous abyss.

Hello? Anybody out there? Hellooooo! (echo echo echo)

Oh well, it was still a lot of fun. The water was definitely a highlight--One of the biggest changes to happen on Theria in quite some time! I can't wait to see it in production!

See you There! Until then, I leave you with this mysterious image from the beta:

Jon Quixote was There!

Bigger and Better

2007-04-07T23:41:00.000-04:00

For those of you who have known me long enough: I've finally rebuilt it!! Bigger and better than ever, just like I always said I would!

For the rest of you: Get with the times, already! In my third blog post ever, while I was recounting the noteworthy events that had occurred prior to starting this blog, I mentioned the creation of a treehouse back in February '05. I used a 50x50 paz with all of 50 lousy drops in it and managed to create something unique. So unique, in fact, that it was frequently destroyed by paz quakes and falling skies and solar winds and quantum singularities and whatever other excuses Julian could find to smother my hard work. 'cough ...What? O:)

Well, it's back and better than it was before! New and improved, my Treehouse on the Horizon v2.0 features a twenty drop expansion that allows for increased space and improved living conditions for all inhabitants! Its decks have a dust-repellent, fire-retardant, non-slip coating and all wooden surfaces have been treated with a special termite-repellent compound! And, even with all these fabulous improvements, it still costs less than the original! It's the biggest and bestest treehouse evah!!**

**Shipping not included, some assembly required. Children under 12 require adult supervision at all times.

And now I present to you a visual tour of my treehouse! Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Removing your super bunny slippers will greatly aid in navigation. Please extinguish all open flames before proceeding. I remind you that smoking is strictly prohibited while you are in my treehouse. Thank you and enjoy the tour! Click to enlarge:

This new version of the treehouse has its own little quirks though. Ever see the roots of a There tree before? Somebody seems to think it'd be a funny practical joke to pour Miracle Grow in one of them! Just look what they did!

And what ever became of the original 50x50 paz, anyways? Well, I still have it in my pocket, thanks to There's patented Inter-Dimensional Microsingularity Storage Pocket Technology. But I wonder what happens when I pull it out?

Well, everyone, this concludes the tour of my Treehouse on the Horizon! Please remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop. Thank you for choosing JQ tours! Please come by and visit me again soon here on Northern Cangrejo!

Jon Quixote was There!

Hippity Hoppity

2007-04-06T17:27:00.000-04:00

Chaz made bunny ears! I took them for a spin. Click to enlarge:

I had some real nice spills:

But that never stopped me before!

Thanks Chaz!!

Jon Quixote was There!

Mass Hysteria!

2007-04-01T19:30:00.000-04:00

This virtual world is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions! What I mean is old testament; real wrath of God type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!!

Listen here and here.

April Fools!

Jon Quixote was There!

A New Buggy?

2007-03-21T22:08:00.001-04:00

Emma hosted a Monster Truck event this evening and who should show up, but the creator of the Monster TUV himself: Sonblock. Sonny brought with him a special little something named the ZMW jinXplorer 1. It was very cool! He hinted that it might possibly just maybe never be released to the public, although we know better than to believe Sonny :) Take a look! Click to enlarge:

Eventually, Vash got his hands on the buggy. Just take a look at what he did:

Way to go Vash! He quickly realized that Sonny's new buggy was too much vehicle for him, so he settled on something a bit safer:

Now, Emma had left a spinfinity out at the event to cause a little mayhem. Somebody nudged me over it and, well, I had no idea Monster TUV's could spin like that!

Dolphin and Aveena quickly figured out how to get stuck on the spinfinity also:

Sonny soon gathered everybody outside the zone and summoned us all to Yoshitoshi's There Grand Prix Arena on New Kansas. Wow, that thing is huge!

As a side note, it's also a very good place to get your buggy stuck in the ground:

Jon Quixote was There!

The End is Near!

2007-03-19T17:31:00.000-04:00

Repent while you still can, for the end is upon us!

For days now, avies across Theria have been noticing some extremely disturbing signs that the end is finally approaching. Avmans have been crashing left and right leaving avatars stranded without bodies and inventories, hoverboats are falling out of the sky, the water table across the planet is rising, and numerous avies have experienced an unwelcome change in gender! Yeah, you read that right!

System messages have been broadcasted by the staff in attempts to alleviate our fears, however the vague and uncertain undertones in those messages belie the fact that even the staff are completely clueless:

Good Evening, we are experiencing and aware of some technical anomalies. We are working to solve the issues. Go to www.info.there.com for more information!

Technical anomalies, they say? This is one heck of an anomaly! Leading Therian scientists have studied the recent phenomena in detail and have uncovered unsettling correlations between current events and those previously reported when a quantum singularity passed in close proximity to the planet. To read about these prior incidents, look here, here, here, here, here, and here.

After much deliberation and several sandwiches thrown across the room, scientists have ascertained that these recent anomalies are not due to one large quantum singularity, but rather are due to countless microsingularities bombarding the planet. Using the latest scientific research and the most expensive sensory equipment currently available, our scientists have triangulated the source of these deadly microsingularities: They originate from a neighboring system called simply "MTV". This system is known to contain one inhabited planet which they call "VLB". Our scientists' absurd love of three-letter abbreviations notwithstanding, these microsingularities pose the most serious risk to There that has been seen since Black Friday!

Reports are flooding in from all sources verifying the microsingularities' deadly nature. When one comes in contact with an avatar, the results are startling to say the least! Orielle and missv were among those afflicted. Both were female avatars prior to their collision with a microsingularity. Images courtesy of Orielle. Click to enlarge:

To read more about these recent gender changes, look at the forum thread here. The staff seem completely confuzzled by the issue, as is reflected in Helper_Hecate's post:

This issue does not seem to be a system wide issue, but something is definitely glitching.

For anyone who has been affected by this issue (I have 7 names down so far) please send email to help@there.com with "ATTN: Hecate" in the subject line. In the email, include the following information:

1) Was there a teleport involved, ie did you notice this occur when you teleported somewhere? if so
a) Where were you teleporting FROM to the best of your knowledge
b) Where were you teleporting TO to the best of your knowledge
(For both of these, be as precise as possible, including landmarks)
2) If a teleport was not involved, what do you remember seeing happen, under what circumstances did you see your avatar change?

This specifically applies to those whose gender changed from female to male (or from male to female, although I do not know of anyone affected yet in that way). if your skin tone changed but you stayed the same gender, you should be able to use the spa to reset it without difficulty.

ThereCare also reflects similar confusion:

Some Avatars Experiencing "gender bending" 3/17

Due to causes which we are still determining, some avatars may have been reset to the "default pattern", which is a clotheless male avatar. Avatars who were already male to begin with may simply use the spa and Change Me to recover their settings.

Female avatars affected by this problem will revert to male pattern - we are working on a solution, but at the present time we do not believe we have a complete list of all avatars affected.

If you have been affected by this issue, and your female avatar has reverted to default male, and you have not already emailed help@there.com, we ask that you do so to let us know your avatar name as soon as possible.

-There Customer Support

Another issue that has arisen as a direct result of the microsingularities is being investigated by BluegrassTIGGS. It seems the water table across the planet has risen by almost a meter in some locations! Read more about this here.

Leading Therian scientists also believe that collisions with microsingularities are responsible for the breakages being noticed in some terrain servers. In particular, the Borakai neighborhood on Caldera Island has been severely affected. Reports indicate that trees and houses have completely vanished, leaving nothing but a default texture behind!

The extremely expensive sensory equipment being utilized by the scientists has failed to gather any readings from this area, although the casual observer can quickly point out that the breakages seem to be concentrated in an area just outside of EmmaJean's house--Curious. Investigators are currently engaged in negotiations to obtain a search warrant for Emma's house in order to determine just exactly what goes on under that roof. Read more on this here.

What is to be done? Answers from the staff are scarce and their reassurance is hardly reassuring. Scientists researching the anomalies suggest that we lay low until one of two things happens: Either the whole thing blows over or the whole planet blows up. Some avies have embraced their fate, celebrating with what little time they have left:

Others are spending their final moments with friends and family, reflecting on their brief but glorious existences in There. Whatever happens, rest assured that some things will never change: Newbies will continue asking for money, griefers will continue griefing, lag will continue lagging, and segmentation violations will continue segmenting and violating. We can all take some measure of reassurance from these indisputable facts.

Spread the word! We must prepare ourselves for what lies ahead!

Jon Quixote was There!

Hunt for There_Monitor 3/17/07

2007-03-18T13:39:00.000-04:00

This week, There_Monitor was captured and marched past some pretty scary groups of people! I'm glad we found and rescued her before it was too late!

I did not know which group would capture me. The Goth and Punks were formidable, but I most feared the Tech Heads. I was blindfolded and forced to stumble uphill. When they removed the blindfold, I found myself in a palm grove overlooking a rocky pass.

Jon Quixote was There!

Saja Flotilla

2007-03-11T00:42:00.000-05:00

The UoT sponsored a Hoverboat Flotilla over Saja this evening and, while Stungthumbz may have gotten a little confused over a few of the particulars, overall the bits of info he provided along the way made it a very enjoyable flight! I ran with a nearly full boat the entire time, too! Thanks NyteLyte, Mooly, and Ioovius for the company on this trip. Eye candy follows. Click to enlarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

Hunt for There_Monitor 3/10/07

2007-03-11T00:25:00.000-05:00

I didn't pick up on this clue right away. I was thinking way out in left field. It took a little... *ehem* help... to get me on the right track.

From the journals of There_Monitor ...

The island chief was a bit timid, but after we got in the air, he truly enjoyed his first flight. He looked down at his domain, laughing as he realized why his islands were called the Seahorse and the Seabiscuit. Unfortunately we were then caught in a downdraft and landed on the Seabiscuit.

Jon Quixote was There!

That which was lost...

2007-03-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

In the forums, our beloved There_Monitor made a post! She wrote:

That which was lost has been found.

(and this time, I don't mean me!)

Now, cg1701 immediately thought "crefit cube?" This must have been a typo. I believe he was speaking of the Credit Cube which, according to rumors, has been stashed away in one of the admin avie's inventories for a very long time now.

Others had their own opinions, some more wacky than others, about what it might have been that There_Monitor was referring to. To read them all, clicky here.

Most notably, Francis_7 realized that:

Back in the beta days I lost a pair of cufflinks. Perhaps There has finally located them!

And Orielle was caught exclaiming:

MY MARBLES!? You finally found my marbles!? I lost those ages ago. I've been looking high and low for those. Where were they? Were any of them cracked?

But what was it really? As of yet, we have no confirmation from There_Monitor on any one of the ideas brought forth in the thread. However, it is quite a remarkable coincidence that the Credit Cube has miraculously appeared on Tyr not too long after There_Monitor made her announcement! It mentions such notable names as: Clare Tuma, Ken Duda, Fernando Paiz, Kate Paiz, Bruce Benda, Ruth Zona, Jeffrey Ventrella, Stacey Artandi, Mike Wilson, and Karuna Bhavnani. It also imparts upon us such wisdom as: "Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray", "Blue cement is l33t", and "The difference between crazy and insane is profit". Eye candy follows, click to enlarge!

Now, the word is that people started spamming the Cube with advertisements of all sorts. So, a very kind one Nigel Blackthorne dropped a paz around the Cube so he could remove foreign objects and protect it. Then, he promptly stuck his own advertisement right on top of the cube.

Oh well, can't have it all I suppose. In any case, I'm glad somebody out There finally decided to place the Cube in world again! Thanks to whoever did it!

Jon Quixote was There!

Weather!?!

2007-03-07T21:13:00.000-05:00

Holy! Weather! Eye Candy! Click! Enlarge! Now!!

Where am I? OpenGL? Rain?! What! Arg!

Okay, once the initial shock had passed and I could once again form complete thoughts and sentences, I restarted in DirectX mode, took out my paz, and began playing with the various weather settings now under my explicit control!

The snow setting:

The dawn setting:

The dusk setting:

The night setting:

The slush setting (I might have made this up):

Thunderstorms too! I didn't have enough time to capture the lightning, sorry :(

I'm reeeeech!! Meeeeelions of teebux!! Muahahaha!

Jon Quixote was There!

Hunt for There_Monitor 3/03/07

2007-03-03T13:54:00.000-05:00

Now, I think Josie made this one up!! At least There_Monitor is finally hiding in an unprotected spot and I can drop my shrine around her. Big Eights!

From the journals of There_Monitor ...

It was a dank and murky place of perpetual night. They brought me to a place that some called The Three Sisters, but others whispered it's real name ... The Devil's Fork! We trudged past that place and they left me at the water's edge.

Jon Quixote was There!

Suing The Slum Lord

2007-03-02T21:08:00.000-05:00

I filed a complaint with the Lagoland town hall recently regarding the poor condition of the streets. Just walking the sidewalks has become extremely perilous as many people constantly drive over the curbs in their buggies in mad drunken rages creating huge potholes which could easily cause a poor walking avie to trip and break their neck!! Just such a thing happened to me not too long ago, in fact! Let it be known that I intend to sue the Lagoland Slum Lord for all he's worth!

Maintenance on the streets is almost nonexistent. After tripping and falling, I found myself sliding slowly downhill bruising and scraping myself on every rut in the road!

I felt like that old lady from one of those commercials! You know the one!

Thank goodness some friends showed up! They saw me and immediately ran forward to lend me a hand in the form of sly glances and witty comments.

Jon Quixote was There!

Git Off Mah Properties!

2007-03-01T14:25:00.000-05:00

The other day Ponder, being the kind neighborly folk she is, invited me for a swim. I was all ready to go until I found out just what it was we were to swim in. It was... kinda soupy.

Ponder received a look that was--well, see for yourself.
Click to enlarge:

While I was there, I figured I might as well take in the lovely scenery--you know, stop and smell the roses and all that. To that end, I took a look around, greeted the local wildlife, and got it in my head that I should find the owner of this trash heap and point out a few of the more disagreeable aspects of his estate.

Nice doggy.

I knocked on the door but nobody answered. I thought I heard some muffled screams coming from inside. Must have been my imagination, you know how carried away it can get sometimes. Peaking in through the window, I noticed some kind of bubble trap which seemed to have been accidentally left just on the other side of the door. I took a seat and patiently awaited the owner's return. From the looks of it, I wasn't the only one waiting. After that, it was a fairly uneventful evening. I may have dozed off once or twice in that rocking chair... Although, at one point, a boot whispered something into my ear as it whizzed out the window. Thanks, think I could get the left boot now?

Jon Quixote was There!

Fast and Frosty

2007-02-19T21:22:00.001-05:00

Yinki hosted a speed racing event for the There Games this evening at Spiritus Speedway. Holy smokes it was fast! He attempted something like this for a previous There Games event and, I have to say, it worked out much better this time. Yeah, some people were very whiny about the pileups but, you know what? It was fun! Get over it! Or around it, whatever you need to do to get the fastest lap time!

The best part of the event had to have been the death-defying leaps over a 20 buggy pileup; the 10-G spins and somersaults; and, of course, winning first place for the green team!! Eye candy! Click to enlarge!

Zooming around those turns in my suped up buggy!

The ice was so slick we spent half the time racing upside down and/or backwards! Zoom zoom!

Careening out of one of the turn tunnels on the other side of a pileup. Fun stuff!

Click to enlarge and read the zone IM. Some people were being naughty! 'tsk 'tsk

The scores >:)

Jon Quixote was There!

There_Monitor Quest 2/17/07

2007-02-17T14:59:00.000-05:00

It looks like I may have missed part of an interesting story last week! Maybe Josie would be interested in publishing her complete journals somewhere? 'wink 'wink 'nudge 'nudge

From the journals of There_Monitor ...

I knew the crew was stubborn, but little did I know the extent of their persistence. Finally I gave in and did partake of their strange concoction made of freshly harvested red mushrooms. Reality began to fade. I recall being jostled down to shore and onto our boat and then a short journey.

I awoke to find myself abandoned by one obstinate crew and yet surrounded by hard heads of a different sort.

This one wasn't all that difficult. Just follow the clues!

Jon Quixote was There!

Sixty Day Expedition

2007-02-15T23:54:00.000-05:00

Our brave hero, netrider, has received word of an archaeological find rivaling the discovery of the Sphinx in Egypt! By way of his infamous RSS feed-collecting customized google homepage, Net got wind of a rumor spreading like wildfire across Theria! Though cryptic, what little information we uncovered suggested a boneyard skeleton of massive proportions! Perhaps the most complete skeleton uncovered to date! Evidence also hints at some connection between this new skeleton and a devious figure shrouded in mystery who calls himself only "TheChaz".

With cries of "A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click", we began our expedition to find the elusive boneyard skeleton! It began, as all expeditions do, with careful planning, packing, and preparing for every possible contingency. We realized early on that our street smarts, our knowledge of the land, and our ability to make rapid key decisions were our strongest attributes.

We reviewed the evidence, we studied the maps, and we drank lots of energy drinks; this was no small undertaking. With high spirits and a trunk full of sensitive data collection devices, we set out on our expedition!

An excerpt from Jon_Quixote's personal expedition journal:

Day 1:
We have already lost half our data collection equipment due to the rough terrain and poor driving ability. Net realized he had forgotten our food and water supplies back at the tent. Nevertheless, spirits remain high as we press on.

Day 6:
Woke up to find myself gnawing on my arm. The thirst is maddening. We must hold out!

Day 25:
I'm getting worried about Net. He has been crouched beneath the seat for days now twitching nervously and mumbling to himself something about low bandwidth and memory. We're not going to last much longer without food and water. The TUV is running on fumes. I'm beginning to question this whole expedition.

Day 40:
You know, Net, it's at times like these when I'm trapped in the middle of the desert without any water, the sun endlessly beating down on me, about to die of dehydration and starvation, and not a bottle of sunscreen anywhere to be found that I really wish I had listened to what my mother told me when I was young.

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen.

The thirst had driven Net to the brink of insanity. He was having delusions of grandeur. At one point, he was walking around pompously pontificating about the methodologies and ethics of blue collar workers using tools to pound various flat surfaces while simultaneously coping with speech impediments. It was madness, I tell you! In addition to that, he kept telling me we were driving through quicksand when we obviously were not. He even claimed we had driven right off the face of the earth! Silly Net.

Just then, Net temporarily regained his senses and decided to comment on my driving skills. He informed me that I was taking too long and he wanted a turn driving. I politely shouted a reminder at him that we were nearly out of fuel and inquired how he could possibly get us to our destination any quicker. I just had to ask, didn't I?

With our courage restored, we continued our search for the boneyard skeleton! We traveled far and wide in search of clues, however insignificant, as to its whereabouts.

By land:

By air:

There was no mountain too high, no slope too steep!

There were no extremes we would not endure!

We braved the shards of razor grass at Spikey Hollow without any concern at all for bodily injury or severed limbs!

Finally, we found evidence which pointed us to a set of bones with peculiar carvings on them. Net lit up his torch and bravely led the way!

At long last! Hard evidence that giant creatures once roamed the surface of Theria! But what was the significance of the markings? Who made them? How did they make them? Why did they make them? What were they wearing? What was a typical breakfast in their society? Were they vegetarians? How many fingers and toes did they have?! We were left with more questions than we had answers.

After days of deliberation and careful study, we determined that deciphering the tattoos and carvings on these bones was the key to finding our mysterious skeleton. We made a note of that, and left the deciphering for somebody else to do. Meanwhile, Net felt the urge to celebrate the progress of our expedition.

We scoured the area nearby for further clues as to who left those strange tattoos on the bones.

Having realized that we had absolutely no clue what we were doing, where we were going, or why we were spending hours each day staring at all those glowing rocks, Net went giddy with the excitement of it all.

Having no further clues to aid us in our search for the boneyard skeleton, we took to the streets in search of even the most obscure references being spread by word of mouth. We attempted to bribe the Slum Lord of Lagoland for information:

When that plan failed miserably and we were sent out of Lagoland swimming in paintballs and riding on our rear ends, we turned to some less intimidating characters:

The entire expedition was in jeopardy! Nobody was able to help us and we were completely out of options! Drastic times call for drastic measures!

Finally, out of desperation, Net went undercover. He disguised himself and, referring to his "Newbiespeak for Dummies" handbook, singlehandedly managed to lower my IQ level by 20 points.

With a numb sensation floating around in our brains, we left the island disappointed and unsure of how to proceed from that point. As random luck would have it, we bumped into an old friend of mine who spoke our language and knew exactly what we were looking for! He has some... peculiar tastes in clothing these days but, in spite of that fact, he was most helpful!

At last! With all our clues gathered in hand, we pieced together the location of the elusive boneyard skeleton and followed the markers towards our final destination.

We made it! All our efforts have lead us to this wonderful, magnificent, glorified, ...giant... scary... horrifying! Look at those incisors! Holy!

Oh, relax you big sissy! Just look at what we've accomplished!

We have uncovered the greatest archaeological find of the century! The most complete boneyard skeleton ever seen by an avie! Isn't it great?!

Yes, lovely. Can we go now? There Goes Our Lives is on.

'crickets

And so, another misadventure has come to a close! Our brave hero, Netrider, having nearly died of thirst and starvation countless times during this expedition gorged himself with Fritos and Dr. Pepper once we made it back out to the TUV. As it turns out, he had forgotten about the secret stash he left under the passenger seat. Needless to say, he gained a lot of weight real fast. Come on, Net, lets go get you on that treadmill!

Jon Quixote was There!

A Mass Avie Sacrifice!

2007-02-12T00:03:00.000-05:00

We're due for an update tomorrow, and you know what that means. Yep! It's another Mass Avie Sacrifice to the There g0ds hosted by Ubber_Geek up at Avie Sacrifices! Eye candy follows. Click to enlarge:

Poor Netrider, all he was able to see during the Sacrifice was a scene that looked like something out of a bad sci-fi horror movie:

Jon Quixote was There!

Unexpected Input

2007-02-04T01:25:00.000-05:00

It's not my fault!

Zona Island is Undefined??

Jon Quixote was There!

A Hundred Thousand Seats

2007-02-04T01:20:00.000-05:00

Honestly, how many do you need?! I guess you can't fault somebody for wanting to give you choices, though. Click to enlarge.

Jon Quixote was There!

There_Monitor Quest 2/3/07

2007-02-03T22:59:00.001-05:00

This one took some time to figure out! There was an awful lot of running around in circles today wondering what the heck Josie was thinking when she wrote this clue. In the end, the answer was so obvious! 'duh!!

No, Nada, Never, Nil
North, Noway, Nohow, Nowhere
Nene, Neener, Ninny, Nope
Nuts, Nerds, Nice, Nabs, Nutterbutter
(It's the letter that helps you find your way.)

Jon Quixote was There!

There_Monitor Quest 1/27/07

2007-01-28T18:47:00.001-05:00

Josie2 has generously taken up the task of hosting a There_Monitor quest each weekend! Just like old times, huh? Each Saturday There_Monitor finds herself a new hiding spot and a new quest begins! This weekend's clue was:

The lady lies in Northern lands
Wherein the giant winged one stands
You'll find her There 'mongst hills and sands.

Easy.

Jon Quixote was There!

Blue Concrete Vision

2007-01-20T21:48:00.000-05:00

What happens when you've been out questing on the blue concrete for too long? Your vision begins to blur, you think you see There_Monitor wink at you, you spy Vash running around chicken griefing somebody at every street corner, and you feel like you're Netrider running There on half-operational dialup! Sorry, Net.

IM me in-world for your very own pair of Blue Concrete Vision glasses! Wear them while looking at this screenshot to see the blue concrete jump out at you in 3D! Wow!

If you continue questing on the blue concrete its vastness will shortly overcome you and you will succumb to a condition known as Blue Concrete Blindness! This is a serious condition and may result in a permanent alteration of your vision! If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms please cease your activities immediately and have a friend summon you back to soft squishy land!

Jon Quixote was There!

There_Monitor's Shrine

2007-01-20T19:11:00.000-05:00

There_Monitor.

She's back! Thanks to Spiritus, There_Monitor is once again logging in to There. And you know what that means? Let the There_Monitor veneration begin once more!

'hmm curious... Click to enlarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

No Parking Any Time

2007-01-20T18:31:00.000-05:00

Click to enlarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

Maintenance

2007-01-17T06:28:00.000-05:00

Well, that's one way to get some sleep.

Jon Quixote was There!

My, How Time Flies!

2007-01-17T06:25:00.001-05:00

Gee, is it really that late already?

Jon Quixote was There :(

Bubbles!

2007-01-17T06:20:00.000-05:00

Oooh look at the bubbles! I wonder what's making them?

Dihtriiii!

Careful, Elaur! The bubbles are razor sharp! Oh NO!

Look! E caught one of the bubbles!

Jon Quixote was There!

Big Eights is Not Dead!

2007-01-17T03:42:00.000-05:00

The website may be gone, Philovivero may have left There, the test avies may one at a time be losing their Big Eights t-shirts, general knowledge about Big Eights among Therians may be at an all time low but, like that guy from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, it's not quite dead yet!

This group and its ideas have always fascinated me. I may have been accepted into the Big Eights Elite after the initial hype had ended but it has nevertheless been a major factor in shaping my experiences in There these past two years. The sense of awe and mystery Big Eights invariably induces in somebody when they learn of it for the first time never ceases to amaze me.

I am writing this post out of curiosity. I often see qgon in-world and we frequently greet each other in the traditional Big Eights manner but it is very rare for me to see another person who speaks the lingo or who wears their Big Eights shirt. Are there any original members left who still log in? Does anybody ever display Big Eights or has it become an afterthought since Philo left There?

It's a terrible shame to have lost bigeights.org, but I believe the Big Eights legacy extends beyond Philovivero and even the Big Eights Elite group. As long as There_Monitor continues to wear her Big Eights t-shirt there remains a source of wonder and amazement--an opportunity for anyone who wishes to ask: "What does it all mean?" No, my friends, Big Eights is not yet dead.

Jon Quixote was There!

More-ee?

2007-01-16T03:09:00.000-05:00

She's too old for all of us, and she doesn't have any free clothes. (She's also a Dark Jedi!) More screenshots than you ever wanted to see of Elaur. Commentary added. Click to enlarge!

Careful, E, I don't think he's had his rabies shots!

Elaur under the table:

Elaur over the table:

Elaur hiding underneath the ground:

Elaur is still noobs!

I was watching Alien last night and I had this crazy dream!

It tastes like WHAT?

Now, I dare you to say that again to my face!

Elaur trying to figure out how to get in the buggy:

Elaur trying to drive the buggy:

Elaur chasing the buggy. (She's actually really good at this)

Uh, E? I don't think we're on New Kansas anymore.

Wait, that's not Elaur! What's going on here?

Elixaur?

What did you do, spit in the pools again E?!

Elaur always has the final say.

What? I couldn't see what you wrote through all these IMs cluttering my view!

Poultry for you! No, poultry for you! No, you! No! You!

Elaur won :( The price you pay for losing to her:

Do I even need to comment?

Elaur is good people. There's always fun to be had when she's around.

Jon Quixote was There!

4-Seater Recall

2007-01-15T02:10:00.000-05:00

There.com recently issued a recall on all 4-seater buggies purchased in the month of January. Faulty workmanship in the rear of these buggies could result in a potentially dangerous situation. "Given the right conditions", says an employee who worked directly on the 4-seater project but prefers to remain anonymous, "the two rear seats can spontaneously combust, bursting into uncontrollable flames and causing a slight charring to the skin of any avies who were unfortunate enough to be seated back there." When questioned about the necessary conditions for such an explosion, the employee responded: "Naturally, we wish to keep the details confidential to prevent misuse until the problem can be properly addressed. However, I can note that it involves a stop sign, a rubber band, a roll of duct tape, and one very sleepy avatar behind the wheel."

There.com faces forty pending lawsuits from avies who were severely burned as a result of the faulty buggies, slightly inconvenienced at having to read this story about the faulty buggies, or who stubbed their toe on the newspaper article containing this story about the faulty buggies as they walked out of their house this morning.

Jon Quixote was There!

Tomb of Our Expectations

2007-01-13T00:22:00.000-05:00

Elaur and I were on the hunt for various things to decipher. We had just come from Tyr, where E deciphered the symbols surrounding the podium in Venue Vash. The symbols are grouped and separated by small dots, suggesting sentence structure. She found them to read: "All Roads Lead Nowhere". That these symbols could be deciphered was a shock to me, as I had never seen them before outside of Tyr. The translation, however, is quite fitting if you ask me.

The next stop was the tomb in Egypt. Elaur flew inside and was checking out the walls while I paused outside gazing up above the door. I noticed the same telltale dots separating groups of symbols that we saw in Tyr and within minutes, E began spitting out possible translations. I was completely amazed! Baffled! Perplexed! Bewildered, even! I was totally, one hundred percent dumbfounded until she told me they were actual Egyptian hieroglyphs! Ooooooh!

Elaur had attempted to translate this once before, but was never able to complete the last line. After fussing with the particulars for a while, Elaur came up with the translation: "Tomb of Our Expectations". Wow! I then wondered if anybody else had ever bothered to translate the glyphs before. A quick Google search came up with at least one other person, iay, who wrote about it in his There blog ages ago. Even if Elaur wasn't the first Therian to try to translate the hieroglyphs, it was still a rather exciting moment.

Jon Quixote was There!

Mister Blinky Hits the Big Time

2007-01-09T17:25:00.000-05:00

Our beloved Mister Blinky is more popular than ever! He's been meeting new friends every day and is even enjoying a new location with a better view than ever before. It's not surprising, then, that he has been taking full advantage of his ever increasing popularity. Oh, to live the life of a star! Click to enlarge.

Jon Quixote was There!

Buddha Weighs in on Loaners4u Situation

2007-01-08T23:14:00.000-05:00

Despite signs being strategically placed at key locations throughout the Loaners4u zone, people continue taking multiple vehicles! Drastic measures were required to ensure that there are enough vehicles for all to enjoy. Ponder was forced to call in a favor!

Jon Quixote was There!

What Did Chaz Do Now?!

2007-01-08T15:02:00.000-05:00

So Elaur summons me to Saja and has this look on her face like, well, sorta like this:

Now, I'm busy fussing with something out of window and hardly take notice as E is staring up into the sky, gasping and pointing and running around in circles. I finally turn around to see what all the hubbub was about and WOAH what's THAT!?

What on earth did Chaz do now! That thing is huge! I stared up at it, gasped, pointed, and ran around in circles. We hopped on a boat to get a better look at the beast:

The detail on this thing is incredible. Look at the leaves!

Here's an aerial for you, taken above the fog. Take a look at the placement of those pods. Random, you say?

And wouldn't you know it, look who we bumped into!

'chickendance of glory!

Don't trip, Chaz, it's a long way down!

Now, of course, we tried to squeeze all the juicy information we could out of Chaz. His typical response was either a chicken dance or "la la la". He liked blaming El Niño as well.

Meret was able to squeeze some information out of him. The model for this beanstalk was, apparently, built by one Rich Larm years ago.

Ponder got him to admit that the beanstalk has been part of the client installation all this time! That's the reason why no new patch was required for it.

She also pulled one more interesting bit of information out of him. Was Chaz responding to Ponder's question, or to Chicken's? Take a look:

But Elaur got one of the best lines out of Chaz:

Now, when staying up until the sun begins to pop up over the horizon in the morning, some very strange things begin to happen. One might even call them hallucinations. Take, for instance, this unassuming pod that has been busy trying to grow itself into a beanstalk for two months now:

We now know it succeeded and several other pods can be seen near the beanstalk attempting to do the same thing:

But wait, did you look at the picture in the link Chaz gave us earlier? It's upside down! Chaz! What did you do! I saw him log in and out down below the beanstalk and so we went down to have a look at what he was doing. Suddenly, Elaur saw something move out of the corner of her eye. I turned in time to see the pods flip!

E and I were freaking out when we saw them flip in real time! It was so cool!

Later in the morning, everybody was so tired our vision blurred and we thought we saw an Evil Chaz appear for a few brief moments!

As the morning went on, things just got stranger and stranger. First, Chaz appeared to shave his facial hair:

Then, we thought we saw him turn into a newbie!

But that's just crazy. None of that really happened, of course; it was all just our imaginations. The new beanstalk, however, is very real. It's the first new landmark content to be added to There in a very long time! Yay for Chaz!!

Jon Quixote was There!

??? Has Been Added to the Conversation

2007-01-04T22:18:00.000-05:00

I've never looked in chat history while near Mr. Blinky before! Click to enlarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

Avie Sacrifices Got Griefed

2007-01-03T22:09:00.000-05:00

Update Updating the Update of the Updated Update:
I bet the word "update" is starting to look a bit awkward now, huh? As you can read in the comments of this post, Aussie has explained that if Ubber sees it necessary in the future, he will gladly re-adjust his paz again as to not interfere with the popular sacrificial events commonly held at Avie Sacrifices. Aussie has created his own jumping platform lower down the mountain to use for his own events and apologies have been sent all around for the countless insults that have been traded in this ordeal. And all is well in the world of Theria once more!

Update Updating the Update of the Update:
Elaur pointed out that my post may have been slightly biased when I wrote: "Helper_Jason decided Avie Sacrifices wasn't worth preserving." I guess I should point out that since writing the post I have learned from Ubber that Jason seemed to really want to remove Aussie's paz but was powerless to take action based on the rules laid out in the TOS about zone boundaries and whatnot.

Update Again:
Ubber is satisfied and the situation, for the moment, seems to be resolved. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Aussie is already busy readjusting his paz closer to its original position.

Update:
Big thanks to SailorGuy for his efforts in convincing Aussie to slide his paz off to the left far enough as to not interfere with the jumpers. Nice work! We're just waiting to see if Ubber is satisfied with the move.

The original post is as follows:
So, some poor sap decided to go up against the entire There community today. Good luck with that, AussieBeef.

The sad part of it all is that There has ruled in his favor. At least for the time being. Ubber had a chance to make his case, and despite the obviousness of Aussie's intentions to grief people, Helper_Jason decided Avie Sacrifices wasn't worth preserving. Click the screenshot below to enlarge:

AussieBeef: "ok what if i move it further down the hill and only capture a very small ammount of avis ?"

The mere fact that he refuses to slide the paz to the left or right to get it out of the way of jumpers should be evidence enough of his intentions! There staff has heard enough of it, however, and has been busy deleting forum threads regarding the situation even though Ubber was very careful not to mention any names or point any fingers. Thank goodness the same rules don't apply to my blog!

The current thread, which has yet to be deleted, resides here.

And luckily for all of you, I happen to have screenshots of the original two threads! Thanks, Ubber!

Ubber's first deleted thread. Click to enlarge:

Ubber's second deleted thread. Click to enlarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

Caption Contest

2007-01-02T22:19:00.000-05:00

I can't think of a caption for this screenshot, so somebody else has to do it for me. Eventually I'll pick one I like and the winner gets a pat on the back from Vash. (And we all know what that's worth.)

The Screenshot:
(Click to enlarge)

The Winning Caption: Banshee_Kate
"Ah yes, Vash shouldn't wonder why they call him "Bubble Butt" behind his back...."

Kate, Vash will be contacting you shortly about that "pat on the back" he owes you!

Thanks to all who wrote a caption! You can find the discussion thread and a lot of good laughs in the There forums here.

Jon Quixote was There!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T16:14:00.000-05:00

What a way to bring in 2007! _Emma was logged in for over 12 hours yesterday dragging a massive group along to party after party celebrating the New Year in almost every time zone! My night began at Francis_7's party in Lagoland. He had a sign placed linking us to his drink patch which turned a Cocoa into a blue party balloon and an Atomic Sour into a red balloon. Wacky fun!

Next stop, Explorer's Club! Accept the summons!

Did you accept? Are you sure? Try again? Maybe you better relog. Oh, there you are!Boy, the lag was awful! Those who managed to find a seat were safely tucked into a seating node. As for the rest of us, we dared not take a single solitary step, lest we rubberband endlessly and wear a rut into the carpet! The sudden onslaught of people caught the server completely by surprise. It panicked and nearly shut down. Gathering its courage, it got back up, saw all of us rubberbanding within, turned back around and promptly set fire to itself.

We had a short break before the next party, so we stopped over at Stormynat's neighborhood for a breather. Then we were off to visit Fazzerelli at the Fairy Tale Castle.

Next stop, Geektopia for the east coast party! Wohoo!! Tiggs sure knows how to throw a party. There was so much confetti that Giggles refused to take screenshots! I was forced to use the ThereCam to capture the excitement.

We sat ourselves in the bleachers and the excitement grew as we counted down the final moments to 2007!

Three minutes!

Two minutes!

One minute!

Happy New Year!!

Tiggs dropped a Feelium ball from the tower and, instead of actually dropping down, it flew up! "We do things differently at Geektopia", she said!

During the festivities following the ball "dropping", Tiggs somehow managed to get herself stuck beneath the grass deck we were all standing on.While she was down there, she decided to have a good look at the shoes everybody was wearing!We then proceeded up to the top of the tower and kicked tons of Feelium balls off the edge to celebrate the New Year. When it was 2007 in the central time zone, I dropped a Feelium ball for Netrider as he counted down for me. Now, poor Net is still stuck on dialup and is using an older PC, since his main rig is busted. The deck we were standing on never quite loaded for him and he was bouncing endlessly as a result. I thought there was a chance he might catch a glimpse of the Feelium ball as it fell during one of his downspouts of lag but, alas, t'was not meant to be. At first, he told me he did see it but, apparently, I'm a little too gullible. Notice the IM with him on my screen. Oh well, Happy New Year, Net!

Once the party was over at Geektopia, we crashed Acemaster's party. I took a short break from partying to bring Valhala and Daisy253 to visit Mister Blinky. They had, apparently, never seen him before! We couldn't have that! I told them all about Mr. Blinky and would have introduced them if he was around, but he was in hiding. They saved the spot and back to the party we went! When I returned, I found Tiggs, Spyder, and Dolphin huddled in a corner of the room. And I couldn't blame them! The noise was awful! The maturity level of the partiers in that room was dropping by the minute. Emma had to moderate someone for the first time ever!! We left that place as quickly as possible and hung out at Aveena's house back at Geektopia for a little while before the next party.

Then it was off to the Inferno Lounge for Emma's West Coast party! Wohoo!! Francis returned to party with us. Banshee_Kate, TheChaz, and Dihtri showed up too! So did the lag! Right on queue, at midnight, the Avman servers restarted as we were toasting to the New Year for the Californians.

After the Avmans got settled again, Kate sung "Auld Lang Syne" for us! It was absolutely wonderful! Thank you Kate!!

Our final stop was the Cannery and reenren's party. Confetti! Confetti everywhere! Giggles couldn't take screenshots, and neither could ThereCam! Everybody who was still with us was completely exhausted at that point, so it is probably for the best that none of my screenshots came out. Instead, here are a couple random shots from the parties:

Evil Tiggs! Muahaha!The attack of the deranged mutant killer lag!

I had a blast. It was so much fun celebrating the New Year over and over and over and over and over again with all my friends! Thank you Emma for dragging us along with you to each party! And thanks to all the hosts who let us crash your parties :D Happy New Year everybody!!

Jon Quixote was There!

Elaur is Noobs

2006-12-27T04:14:00.000-05:00

A pontificating Vash, a Vash Army buggy, a pain in the butt, literally, a Rick_Slick, a hotel, some newbies, 300tbux, some griefing, some out-griefing, elaur is noobs, some forcefields, and lack thereof, A Thumdar, jigawatts, a comforterpaperprintersyndrome, flanders, a tomato-red bald head, belly rubbing, tongue dancing, near nakedness, polygon people, penance. Weird night.

Jon Quixote was There!

Comfort and Joy

2006-12-25T21:13:00.000-05:00

... And lots of loot! Merry Christmas everyone!

Jon Quixote was There!

Merry Christmas Elaur!

2006-12-25T02:10:00.000-05:00

Click me!

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

2006-12-23T01:30:00.000-05:00

My sister and I took a spin around Samsyn's Winter Wonderland, A.K.A. Frosty, with JoAnn to get into the Christmas spirit. Here are a few highlights of the journey. Click to enlarge.

That's my sister getting all cozy with the Gingerbread man.

JoAnn found this nice swan boat in the pond, but it refused to take her anywhere! So, I had to get out and push...

Is that not the coolest thing you've ever seen?! It's so cool, in fact, that it deserves another screenshot.

Jon Quixote was There!

Wishing Blinky a Merry Christmas

2006-12-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

He has called two different islands his home, he has crossed a vast ocean of blue concrete, he's been raised high in the sky, placed within decorative pazes, he's even had poems written about him. He has been held in awe since the dawn of time. Well, nearly. You might say he's got more Jigawatts than anyone else. But yesterday, Elaur gave Blinky a whole new perspective on the world. Merry Christmas, Mister Blinky!!

Click the image below to see Blinky's "new perspective"

Jon Quixote was There!

Happy Avie-Versary Elaur!!

2006-12-21T02:55:00.000-05:00

I came home today (technically yesterday) to find Elaur on my desktop screaming about this new 4-seater buggy. Moments later, there I was in-world, still wearing my Sacrificial Suit from the last blog entry, before E and Chaz even loaded on my screen, beholding this wonderful machine:

As a side note, Chaz rocks! So many new additions today (technically yesterday). 4-seater buggies, new stylemaker tops for men and women, fixed clipping issues on male stylemaker tops, a brand new 'toast emote, and a fixed 'jig emote!! Happy Avie-Versary Elaur indeed!!!

So, what better way to celebrate Elaur's two year Avie-Versary than to blind summon every last buddy currently online onto a tiny deck way up near Avie-Sacrifices? That's exactly what puddlefish and I convinced Elaur to do! Apparently, E rarely pulls this kind of stunt so everybody accepted the blind summons thinking something along the lines of: "Oh my gosh, Elaur is summoning me, it must be extremely important!" So, needless to say, a ton of people were gathered on that tiny little deck within a matter of seconds.

And mere moments later, that deck was pulled right out from beneath them. What, you thought we were going to hand out party hats and sing "Happy Birthday"?

Jon Quixote was There!

Priceless Sacrifice

2006-12-16T01:39:00.000-05:00

Rugged all terrain boots with economical inso-late® thermal liner: 3,500 Therebucks.

Can't bust 'em® sacrificial pants, equipped with side and rear pockets: 2,000 Therebucks.

Rip-stop® sacrificial shirt, featuring elbow padding, thermal insulation, and patented whiplash protection technology: 2,300 Therebucks.

Grip-rite® gloves, including altimeter and Reel-Feel® thermometer: 1,500 Therebucks.

Cable knit Santa hat: 5,000 Therebucks.

Various belts, buckles, and straps: 1,200 Therebucks.

Putting yourself in harm's way so that sick children all across the world can learn to love Mario and Luigi as much as you did: Priceless.

Jon Quixote was There!

Child's Play Charity Event

2006-12-15T23:50:00.000-05:00

BluegrassTIGGS helped set me up with an event for the Child's Play charity tonight. I offered to put myself in harm's way to benefit sick children all over the world! You can find Alex's forum post about the holiday fundraiser here. In brief, Child's Play (www.childsplaycharity.org) is a charity that works to provide games, toys, and videos to sick children in children's hospitals all over the world. 100% of all donations go directly to those hospitals! At the end of the fundraising period, the total donations from the There community, in Therebucks, will be converted to US Dollars and sent off to the charity. Additionally, Makena Technologies, together with the Maya Foundation (CEO Michael Wilson's foundation) will match the community's contribution up to $10,000!

My event was originally intended as a paintball sacrifice but, as it turns out, paintball is disabled on Comet Island so we had to improvise. Buggies work just as well for knocking an avie off of a platform. I suited up in my sacrificial uniform: rugged all terrain boots; can't bust 'em pants; rip-stop shirt; grip-rite gloves; various belts, buckles, and straps; and, of course, my cable knit santa hat, and I prepared myself for a long hour of avie bashing off of the highest peak in There: Avie Sacrifices.

We asked those who showed up to donate 5,000 Tbux to There_Gifts for the event and then we turned them loose in their buggies! I definitely had a--Tiggs! Can I finish my sentence please? Where was I. Ah yes. This event was a lot of fun. We had pretty good turnout, too, although I think most people were all charitied out since this was one of the last charity events being done for the fundraiser. Even so, Jasmin_Janea stopped by with KimberlyVictoria. Elaur also came with Sammy1000 a bit later. Sammy missed me the first time, but rammed me real good two more times after that. I guess that's payback for the There Winter Games huh? Buschman57 came by and even stood with me in the face of imminent danger a couple times up on my little ra--

OOF!
Ow, that one hurt. Hey, take it easy guys! This is supposed to be a--Nya nya you missed me!!You guys couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me!!Hey, I can see my house from here!

Big thanks to Tiggs for making this event possible! A thank you to everybody who came for their support and their donations to the fundraiser. And can't forget Buff, who wired his donation to me before the event because he couldn't make it. I still can't believe you passed up an opportunity to smash me into oblivion!

Can't touch this!

Jon Quixote was There!

G0D Returns!

2006-12-10T22:17:00.000-05:00

G0D has returned to There! HUZZAH! 'jig of glory! Netrider and I were the first to spot her as she returned to her cloud in Saja. JoAnn logged in moments after Net and I arrived at G0D's cloud, so I summoned her. I also summoned Ponder who, in turn, informed Francis who, in turn, informed Rickpa and soon we were all floating up there with G0D having a nice little chat. At first, Rickpa didn't believe G0D was actually listening to us. Nonbeliever!! As soon as he saw her BRB goggles disappear he was converted, though. I told G0D she should smite him anyways. Rickpa also made a few passing comments about G0D's posterior...

Net and I updated G0D on all the new stuff in There like pazes you can drop in space, skintone independent clothing, the new California island, and all about Prophet TheChaz's funzone and environmental sound additions! She was very excited! Net and I also determined that G0D's return to There was a sign that the new water we've been promised is coming soon! G0D will walk on the new water the day after the update is released! Huzzah! We also asked G0D to cleans There of all the evil that has surfaced while she was over at Second Life. I explained to her how avies now have the ability to nudge objects in any direction in their homes. Voodoo magic I tell you!!

Unfortunately, G0D didn't stay long. We watched as her BRB goggles went on and off during our extended conversations with her and as soon as we took off in Francis' hoverboat, she logged out! I do hope she returns again soon!

Jon Quixote was There!

Valhalla Revisited

2006-12-10T22:14:00.001-05:00

In my fifth ever post up here on this blog, here, I included some screenshots I took of Valhalla during a Massive Hoverboat Flotilla. Valhalla is this monstrous collection of pazes put out by RedWings on random occasions. It has at least 20 pazes and 1,000 drops!! I had the opportunity to revisit Valhalla last night and, boy, is it awesome looking. So awesome looking, in fact, that giggles crashed nearly every time I attempted to snap a screenshot. The area was packed full of blinking lights, exploding fireworks, and bursting at the seams with colors of every sort! Using the latest available high-tech image re-creation photographic software, I have generated an approximation of the awesomeness I saw which was too powerful for screen capture programs to correctly process. I hope you enjoy the splendor as much as I did! Click to englarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

Disconnected Thoughts

2006-12-10T18:07:00.000-05:00

What are you looking at?

Explain this to me again. What, exactly, is holding us up?

And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?

Lieutenant Dihtri, load forward tubes! Acquire target lock! Mister Chaz, divert all available power to the warp drive! Fire chicken torpedoes, full spread! Helm, come about, one five zero mark two. Engage engines, warp factor five!

Watch out Dihtri! That elf is about to smash your--

Oh! That'll leave a mark.(Did anybody else see Chaz just age thirty years?)

Ewwww gross!!

Shh shh! There she is! Duck! You think she spotted us? Ahh! My ears!

And in this corner, weighing in at 600x50 pixels, the amazing, the fabulous, the unstoppable, the incredibly ferocious JQ!! (Crowd goes wild) Tonight he faces his long time arch-rival, the terrible, the savage, Buff_God!!! 'cricket

And what have we learned, Titanic builders? A) [Lifeboat capacity] - [Number of passengers] better @#$% well be a positive number. B) NEVER call your boat "unsinkable".

Jon Quixote was There!

Nobody Does It Better

2006-12-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

So, I was all set to write an elaborate blog entry tonight with dramatic plot twists and agonizingly long scientific analyses of pandimensional beings and rifts in the space-time continuum. I sat myself down, stretched my fingers, and prepared to wring every last creative detail from my mind when I stopped and asked myself "Why do I do this? Is it for my adoring public? For all of two people who actually read this blog? Do I come up with these absurd fictions out of some twisted sense of obligation to my unappreciative fellow Therians?"

Well, the truth is I enjoy humiliating you guys. And nobody does it better than yourselves:

Dougeee: "people tell me I run like a girl all the time"
Jon_Quixote: "Maybe it's those pink bunnies?"
Dougeee: "i like these. i traded my black ones for em"

Jon Quixote was There!

Two Years Old!

2006-12-02T22:59:00.000-05:00

Last night, Elaur threw me a two year avie-versary party! Since the Aero Lounge wouldn't let her book the event early (There_Events forgot to pay rent... Bad There_Events, bad!) E booked it at Explorer's Club instead. I arrived a little early to help E set up and found the place already decked out for the party. There was food on the tables--pizza, corn, burgers--and E was dropping a quest based on some trivia questions I sent her about myself. She did an awesome job decorating! But I later found out that most of the decorations were left there by the previous person to host an event. Details, details. I owe E a big thanks for hosting my party! You rock! 'chicken 'chicken

MustangGirl was the first to arrive. It was nice chatting with her again, but she didn't stay too long. Dihtri arrived soon after and BluegrassTIGGS showed up briefly to sing "happy birthday" to me! Elaur even managed to summon Francis_7 and Rickpa to the party. Francis_7 brought his counterparts along for the ride, and and.. wait.. who's missing? There he is! Buff_God was a bit late but he came!

Dihtri showed off her recent nose job. It looks.. uh.. great, Dihtri.. no really! 'tu

Buff made (yes made!) two boards for me. In all honesty, I'm a bit partial to the freestyle version with its slick black vents. But the cruiser is a one of a kind! And, of course, you can never have enough boards!

E is making me turn my Geek shirt into a female version for my gift. Wait what? And she gave me this spiffy Polygon People outfit she designed:

And guess who showed up at 10:30 just like she promised!!

Julian's YahoOo senses began tingling and we could feel him breathing down our necks, so Leader didn't stay too long. But it was a nice birthday gift! Qgon showed up rather mysteriously immediately after Leader logged out. What's up with that? 'hmm...Psst.. see that guy Sylas eying us all suspiciously back there? Yeah, we thought he might have been... never mind. Silly, I know.

Once everybody had logged out for the night, qgon and I took a visit to mister lucky lucky 13 test avie and poked fun at him for his Hogan-style mustache thingy.

And then, before calling it a night myself, we jumped off Avie Sacrifices.

In style.

Thank you everybody who came to make my two year avie-versary a great party! And another huge thanks to E for making it happen!!

Jon Quixote was There!

The system has been repaired...

2006-12-01T02:17:00.000-05:00

Click to enlarge:

Jon Quixote was There!

UoT Campus Life

2006-12-01T00:44:00.000-05:00

Dihtri held her first University of There event today as the new Dean of Students. It was packed with all sorts of useful info. Great idea Dihtri! It's about time we had an event like this. And you did a great job too :D

Jon Quixote was There!

Oh Christmas Tree!

2006-11-30T23:16:00.000-05:00

Geektopia is being decorated for the holidays! I was invited to a little party the other day to enjoy the scenery and a little bit of skating as well. It was a nice opportunity to chat with some friends and make some new ones. BluegrassTIGGS has done a great job with this place. Just check out that tree!! Those ornaments! Some serious effort went into this. It looks awesome, Tiggs!

After visiting with Tiggs at Geektopia, Dihtri and I took her to meet Mr. Blinky. Can you believe she'd never met him before? Well, Blinky was glad I introduced her. He always enjoys meeting new friends.
Because Mr. Blinky is the silent type, Dihtri and I had to tell his story to Tiggs. Although, in all honesty, one look into those eyes of his reveals far more than any words can:
Tiggs was very curious about Blinky and asked him many, many questions but, as usual, Blinky steadfastly and stubbornly refused to respond with so much as a word.
But I did catch him eyeing Tiggs...
As is usually the case each time I visit Blinky, I learned something new about him. Ever try to send him an e-mail? Well, the error you get is rather peculiar: "pWebAvatarFactory_->Get(108891507) returned NULL: Numrows is 0." Basically, the method calling a lookup on Mr. Blinky's DOID received a NULL in reply. That's geek speak for Mr. Blinky doesn't exist.

Jon Quixote was There!

Don't Touch That!

2006-11-19T19:47:00.000-05:00

Hey Jon, what's this flashy red light mean?
Don't touch that Dihtri!

Jon Quixote was There!

New Evidence Surfaces About the Blue Concrete

2006-11-13T00:40:00.000-05:00

Yielding to the demands of a large portion of members loosely associated with the There Preservation Group, the staff have begun to release previously classified documents from beta, some of which have shed light on the circumstances surrounding the creation of our massive ocean of blue concrete.

According to portions of certain declassified documents, it would appear Justin and I were on the right track with our Theregen theory which is recorded in this entry. Previous theories about the blue concrete typically surround a giant drain which lies mysteriously unplugged out in the middle of the ocean. Although such theories may explain the absence of any water on Theria, each fails miserably to explain the presence of the blue concrete. In our ramblings, however, Justin and I stumbled upon a theory which adequately explains both the disappearance of the water existing in the beta days as well as the formation of the blue concrete we are so acquainted with at present.

One evening back in February of this year, while pondering about Mr. Blinky's need for the bottles of SPF 10,000 I so frequently leave him, I came to believe that planet Theria had little ozone left in its atmosphere as a direct result of all the vehicle emissions and, therefore, provided insufficient protection for Mr. Blinky's fair skin. To this, Justin commented that we actually do not know what fuel our buggies burn and, therefore, what kind of emissions are given off. Do they burn a fossil fuel? Could they possibly use a Thereite byproduct? Justin speculated on the possibility of developing an energy-efficient means of utilizing the Theregen molecule to produce a low-emissions vehicle. We then wondered if this had already been done. It is possible, we surmised, that all the Theregen could have been extracted from There's oceans for use as buggy fuel. This certainly would have accounted for the blue concrete. This theory of ours is confirmed in the now declassified portions of the following memo:

----------------

INTEROFFICE MEMO

FROM: Vash

TO: Samsyn

SUBJECT: On the theoretical extraction of the Theregen molecule (___) from our oceans to produce a more energy-efficient buggy fuel to alleviate the growing concerns of our beta testers.

Samsyn, I was up all night puzzling over the recent issue brought up in the beta forums regarding the pollution that the current set of test buggies produces. I think you were on the right track with the ___ molecule. We could potentially extract it from ____ ____ ________ ___ ___ ___ _____ _ ____, as _______ suggested, but I believe that would be extremely costly and _____ would, no doubt, throw a fit. Where else might we find such an abundant source of Theregen? It hit me like a brick: The oceans, Samsyn, the oceans!! I ran it by a chemical engineer friend of mine, ___ ______ over at _____ Industries, and he estimated that, given the chemical makeup of our water and the unique bonding behavior of Theregen, we could extract 87.2% of the molecule in its natural state. The remaining molecules would coalesce into an extremely dense bluish hued substance. _____ ____ ______ _____ __ ___ __________ ___ _____ __ ____ _______ ____ _____ __ _______ ________ ____. Even so, we would 'kill two birds with one stone', so to speak. Recall the numerous reports from members who wadded out a bit too far into the water? On the downside, according to ___ ______, we would invariably have to restore what Theregen we remove from the oceans to prevent

----------------

At the time, we hardly realized the implications of that fleeting discussion between Justin and I. Oh, if only Mr. Blinky had communicated this to us! A mere wink, a nod, a chicken dance, anything to signal the importance of our discovery! Surely Mr. Blinky keeps countless secrets from those dark days before public beta! But alas, he remained motionless as ever, longingly staring out into the vast blue yonder.

The remainder of the memo references another extremely cryptic document with regards to a restoration process currently underway. From what little we can understand of this document, the restoration of the removed Theregen molecules is vital to the stability of the planet's ecosystem and efforts to that end have only recently proved successful. It would seem Theria is now in immediate danger and the staff members are working overtime with a group of chemical engineers on a process for reintegrating most of the extracted Theregen and restoring our oceans to their previous state.

Still other declassified memos have us completely baffled. We are working around the clock decrypting them and are confident we will be able to ascertain their meaning before long.

----------------

INTEROFFICE MEMO

FROM: Vash

TO: Samsyn

SUBJECT: To remember is to persevere.

'cluck 'cluck 'cluck

----------------

There are still hundreds of these declassified documents which have yet to see the light of day! Sifting through them is a tall order for any man, but the search for truth must continue for the sake of avies all across Theria.

Jon Quixote was There!

Metaphysical discourse between two anthropomorphic bicarbonate vessels on the topic of discarnate substrata in There

2006-11-10T19:51:00.000-05:00

So I said to netrider6: "Hey net, did you ever stop to think about the pataphysical implications of the rapid linear motions of an incorporeal elastic form about an equilibrium position while its perturbed mass of bubbles of air in a matrix of liquid film precipitate towards a spitbox?"

The look on net's face at that moment defies all explanation. I reproduce it for you here, in all its frothy glory. Click to enlarge:
Just as he was about to respond, a peculiar atmospheric phenomenon passed by in our immediate vicinity resulting in the most absurd personification of a flaming banana and a root burp. In retrospect, the anomaly bears a striking resemblance to those mentioned here, here, here, here, and here.

Such were the results:

Pardon me, but you're the most gorgeous steaming hunk of bicarbonate I've ever seen! We should go out some time. Oh why thank you, I come in seven different flavors. Might I have a taste? Certainly, help yourself!

Oh my, your bicarbonate is showing!

Is that your bicarbonate or are you just happy to see me?

From that point, it didn't take long at all for the situation to deteriorate into... well, just take a look for yourself:

Watch the floating disembodied mugs' dance ritual!

As the atmospheric phenomenon responsible for all this nonsense finally began to disperse, an electromagnetic wave, which must have been riding the tail end of the phenomenon, suddenly and without warning smashed into us causing what was perhaps the most interesti-

Jon Quixote was There!

Winter Retreat

2006-11-10T17:43:00.000-05:00

A couple days ago I decided it was about time for a small, portable winter paz. Sure, I can pitch my tent just about anywhere but it offers little protection against Frosty's raging winter storms (and oh, how the storms are a'raging!) So I jumped in the snow and began building myself an igloo. And a couple snowmen while I was at it. And a secret stash of snowballs just in case Buff drops by. I had forgotten how expensive paz building can be! Fortunate are ye designers who actually earn a profit from your designs! Pity the unfortunate penniless avie such as myself! It took me a long while to hunt for cheap decorations for the paz, but it was time well spent. I'm happy with the results. A million thanks to JoAnn for all your help! Eye candy? Click to enlarge if ye must!

Jon Quixote was There!

There Film Festival

2006-11-08T03:05:00.000-05:00

My favorite videos from the current There Film Festival. Okay, I like them all. Sue me. These are loads of fun to watch in-world at our brand spankin' new theaters! Don't miss out!

Wild Griefer by Francis_7
Banshee_Kate rocks! I can't get enough of this video, I love it!

There Goes Our Lives by Disky
High-larious!

It's All There by Elaur
Can't forget E! I voted for you!

A Bad Day for Mr Penguin by Natalia Price
There is absolutely no point to this video. At all. It's so great!!!

An Amazing Day in There by Chagall
Dihtri really likes this one.

There Gathering by Antaios
And I think the music in this one is great.

Machinima in There by Rick Slick

Jon Quixote was There!